Have you ever volunteered to do something for someone and gotten bad results in return?
A friend of mine had that happen to her recently. A close friend of hers became quite ill. My friend took it upon herself to go over and find out what she could do to make that person comfortable. She went the extra step and even called and spoke to a family member keeping them appraised of the situation since they didn’t live in the same state as their sick relative.
My friend spent several days at Christmas time and even longer times at the local hospital making sure that this particular person received all the right care and sympathy that a sick person required.
The upshot was that person was doctored by my friend and the visiting nurses association. When that person felt better she called my friend and told her the good news. She was better. She was out of the hospital. She had a new social worker nurse who would look after her and she didn’t require my friend’s services any longer.
Well, how do you do?
Makes you wonder sometimes why people bother to do anything kind, compassionate and willing to help a friend in need. My friend took it rather hard. She spent a great deal of time with this person, spoke to family members advising them on their next steps, and then BOOM, it blows up in her face.
My friend was quite upset and chose not to get involved any more with people like that.
But, the question is how do you avoid people like that who don’t know how to say thank you for your time, I appreciate what you did for, and how can I thank you.
The problem is people aren’t being brought up properly. It’s rude not to thank someone who gave up their quality time to spend time and care for you. It’s a choice, I understand that, but it’s also much more than that.
It’s similar to when the police come knocking at doors asking for witness statements and not getting any because no one wants to become involved. They’re afraid of the outcome. They don’t want to become the next target, the next victim so by keeping their mouths shut, they don’t have to worry.
Or do they?
I often thought that when a compassionate person is dismissed rudely from a job well done, a final farewell on my part would be: I’m delighted that you’re well. Where do you want me to send the bill? After all, this person just treated you like a trade person. Why shouldn’t you get paid for your time and effort that you put int this person and their family.
I do suspect that most people don’t know how to say “thank you” after someone helps them out. I’m not sure if it’s embarrassing for them to admit that they required help in the first place or that they got caught out with something they were determined never to get in the first place. I’m not quite sure what the real problem is, but I do recognize that this person isn’t sure how to thank this person, so instead of being civilized, they play the savage card which isn’t very nice at all.
So, the next time you volunteer to help someone help, do these things to protect yourselves.
- get their snail mail
- keep a journal and keep track of what you do, when you do it, and how long it takes you to do it
- go to the internet and find out how much a caretaker makes when providing these services
- then when you’re dismissed like you’re nothing important to this person, certify mail the person with your bill.
- If they become indignant, remind them that if it hadn’t been for you, they might have died, alone, in that apartment of theirs.
- Remind them gently that every act has a reaction and that this is your reaction to their treatment of you.
- Onwards & Upwards!