Unisex bathrooms!

Oh My God!

I came.

I saw.

I conquered?

I had my first Unisex bathroom experience this past November at The Miami International Book Fair. Of course, with heart pounding in my chest, I made my way into the otherwise known ‘girls’ room into new territory.

First came the advance parties announcing to the unisex room that a ‘female’ was entering the shared domain.

After making sure that no one else was in there, I walked in to find urinals on one side of the bathroom and stalls with doors on the other side of the room. I took a sniff.

We all know that men and boys miss when they aim and shoot, but I was pleasantly surprised. No mess awaited my all too timid eyes.

I went into the stall and barricaded the door (I mean locked the door) so that no one could enter accidentally. I did my business. The toilet flushed behind me. I unlocked the door and sailed out, washed my hands, dried them, and viola, it was done.

So went my first foray into the unknown.

The second time I went in with less fanfare.

Second Time

I entered the bathroom calling ahead of me. “Is anyone in here?”

Not hearing a responsive chorus, I walked in and noticed ‘no one!” I went into the same stall (knowing how I would find it) and closed the door, this time locking it. All went well.

However, when I came out of the stall, I saw much to my surprise and shock another human being shared the bathroom with me.

A man!!

Oh my God! At least, his zipper was fully up and nothing extended beyond his jeans. He said. “I really enjoyed talking with you this morning.”

Trying to sound non committal, I turned around and noticed a father and son combo standing right in front of the door. I think the boy was more shocked than I was.

Summoning my wits, I said. “Hello, I see that you bring in your son with you. You know kid, you’re special. When my kid had to go to a bathroom, he went with me into the woman’s room.”

Now, the kid looked shocked. I smiled. Washed and dried my hands.

I waved to all of them and left.

So ended my first and second, and hopefully my last time I ever use an Unisex bathroom again.


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About Lillian Cauldwell

Own and operate an Internet Talk Radio Network for 10 years, 2005 to Present Published Author of Non-Fiction Book, 1996, "Teenagers! A Bewildered Parent's Guide. Published Author of several fiction books, 2006 "Sacred Honor" and 20010 "The Anna Mae Mysteries: The Golden Treasure." Playwright of Theater of the Absurd and Black Comedies. Screenwriter, Black Comedies