4.7.15 Bernard Perrine, CEO & Co-Partner, Using Keywords to Key Sales
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Reflect & Contemplate Thoughts for the Day
10.08.2015 What to do when someone uses harsh words against you?
Harsh words, people hear them all the time whether they’re in context or not. Most people receive them from their bosses. Others from friends. Some from relatives. A few from their kids. (yeah, kids aren’t shy today about mouthing off). I think the worst kind of harshness or ugliness of words is coming from a friend that one believes in.
You just sort of stand there in horror and listen to the garbage dropping from the lips of someone you trusted, befriended, loved, pal around with, etc. It never occurs to you that this same someone is going to turn around one day and attack.
Harsh words equals shame. Ugly words equals guilt. Words used equals: denial, emotional blackmail, breathless, uncontrollable tears or laughter (same things. one readily turns into the other one), shock, and that uh-oh feeling that you made a wrong turn somewhere.
Words are powerful weapons. Count on it. It’s worse than taking a slap to the face, a punch in the gullet, a stab in the gut. Words can bring down an entire nation. Words can destroy a person in a single instant.
However, what you must decide is how you’re going to deflect these words.
Let them roll off your back.
Turn them around and re-examine why that particular person said them in the first place. Was the person scared, insecure, angry, hateful, or just wanted you to self-doubt yourself.
Remember these words. ‘YOUR CHOICE.’
And then remember, that these harsh words are not really aimed at you. They’re aimed at the person saying them.
You know who you are. Like yourself. Live comfortably in your skin.
When someone attacks, there’s usually a reason, and it’s not you. You’re not the culprit here. It’s the person attacking you.
Why? Because they know somewhere deep inside of themselves, they are wrong. Wrong, plain and simple.
So, next time, fire strikes you down, take a deep breath, shake your head, sigh, but DON’T LET THEM SEE YOU CRY. That’s what these people are after.
Ignore their HARSH words because in reality they’re not really being aimed at you, but at themselves.
They’ve let themselves down by doing something so stupid that it’s gotten out of control.
They’ve lost the one thing too precious to lose.
friendship, harsh, words, guilt, shame, blame, choice, cry, people, boss, friend, family, relative
10.05.2015 What to do when someone dupes you?
You know who you are. We all do it. Some of us knowingly. Some of us unknowingly. It’s like the tv show, “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant.”
Seriously? I find that hard to believe, but there you have a television show about girls finding themselves pregnant with no other explanation than a simple shrug of the shoulders.
It has happen so often to me, my staff, and other corporate workers that it isn’t funny, hip, or maddening any more. In fact, I don’t get so work up about it anymore because it is what it is.
Now, you’re probably going ask: Why does it have to be like this?
I can’t give you any good enough reply to the question. I think people get caught up in their own corporate world and unless buzzed or shook by their virtual assistant, they miss those so-called have to have appointments whether in person or via phone, tablet, or computer.
The fact that these people have you especially use a calendar to set up an appointment, and then you receive confirmation of that appointment, it certainly makes me suspicious of their motives. Most of these people don’t even seem to check their email or on-line calendars to see that they do indeed have that appointment.
What I want to know is when they’re going to change their behavior — if ever. I know the adage, You can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but we’re not talking boomers. We’re talking about the techies. The kids who were born in the 70’s and beyond. The hip generation.
It doesn’t hurt me the way it will hurt them. Word does get around. I might even boycott their services or products or webinars. I wish they would pay attention to their on-line calendars or those introductory emails saying: I would love to talk to you.
Well, if they never contact you, connect with you, or even drop a hint they’re alive and not robots, how do you ever get to meet, greet, and work with them? That’s what I want to know!
tags: connections, people, work, calendars, appointments, paying attention, lying, emails
10.04.15 What to do when you’ve been duped?
We’ve all been there. Trusting souls that we are. Most of us do believe everything that’s told to us. It’s unfortunate because a lot of us get burned — duped — taken advantage of. It doesn’t matter how one puts it, expresses it, or hears about it, it’s how we handle the duping itself.
Duping itself? Are you kidding me? There are dozens of ways to get even. Let me count the ways. For starters:
Murder. Nope, that’s against the law.
Stalking. Nope, that’s against the law, too.
Doing bodily harm to that person or organization. Nope, the police take a dim view of that as well.
Anything else on that list besides bodily harm, open warfare, attack!, or any other violent behavior? In the long run, it doesn’t solve the problem. It only makes it worse. And that person or organization in question won’t have learned anything at all. In fact, they’ll go out and dupe another person until they’re stopped. These people are called “serial dupers.”
If they are stopped eventually, they try duping the wrong person who is ready with their fists or other weapons of choice and go after that duping person.
Is duping a sickness? A virus? A learned behavior? Genetics? I don’t know the answer to that question. All I know is that people are duped all the time and get seriously hurt in the bargain.
I know. I was duped recently. Tomorrow is another day, Monday. I’ll tell you a quick synopsis of how I was duped, and then we’ll go from there.
10.02.2015 What to do when you lose a best friend after confronting their boss?
A very odd situation occurred with me recently. I was on a project that took longer than the original contract specified. The go-between for me was also a good friend. I didn’t want to hurt her, but the truth be told. “Be true to yourself” as the good bard once stated.
In the end I had to confront their boss and told the boss to back off. It ain’t gonna happen. Since then all is quiet on the western front.
Now, I don’t want to draw the wrong conclusions. However, let me ask all of you a question. If someone you’d contracted with told you one thing, and then the exact opposite happened what would you have done.
I understand as a go-between that you’re placed in a sensitive position. The go-between just won’t win with either side. Their boss is angry. The tell-off person is also angry.
What to do? I’ve been thinking on this for a while and still haven’t come up with an active solution accept one.
Don’t doubt yourself.
Don’t go back on your word.
Don’t squirm and above all
WAIT it out.
If it truly was meant to be, it would have happen.
Tomorrow we’ll discuss communication between the species. Until then, walk on into the sunset!
9.25.2015 What to do when you’re feeling blue?
Everyone can identify with this problem. No matter how we get up on which side of the bed, there are days, weeks, months, and even years when we all feel blue. The first signs are always hard to decipher because most teens act ‘blue’ all the time. If I had to depend on all the signs of a depressed, alcoholic, and drug-ridden teen, my son would’ve qualified on all accounts. He always acted that way before those signs were ever determined and accepted by the health community.
This way, you have to look within you to really determine how blue you are and then take immediate action. Feeling blue and acting blue are two widely separate behaviors. When I’m feeling blue, I don’t wait around and wait to see how worse it will get. I take direct action at once.
When I act blue, then I know I’m in serious trouble and need to get help fast. What kind of help? That depends on how much you allow our society and culture to dictate your actions.
I’m told, and have seen it in action, that men and boys will never admit they need help until it’s too late. Unfortunately for them, they believe the prevailing myth that friends, co-workers, relatives, and family will find out on their job applications, the ‘people’s network’ or gossips that it will ruin their chances for getting a good job, cinching that engagement offer, or be banished to the realm of ‘OMG!”
By the time that men and boys finally reach out, it’s usually too late.
This blog isn’t about them. That’s for another day. Another rant.
When you feel blue, do something about it. Don’t wait for the cavalry to arrive. It might be too late by then.
Talk to a good friend. Talk to your parents if you don’t consider them the enemy. Talk to a priest, minister, rabbi. The idea is to talk and get it quickly out of your system if you can. No one likes permanent ‘blue’ people around them.
It stresses them out!
9.12.2015 What to do when you’ve got time on your hands?
I understand that not many people actually have time on their hands, but if you’re one of the fortunate or unfortunate few (be that as it may), there’s a lot of things one can do if you simply sit still long enough to recognize the possibilities.
Of course, you’re saying: “Sure, it’s easy for you to say. Have you ever had time on your hands or in your hands as some google images suggest?”
Usually Saturdays and Sundays are bustling affairs for me and my spouse. A stroke of luck has occurred. Both Saturday nights we need to be at our son’s house to babysit their 3 kids. Lucky us! (you can interpret that statement any way you please!)
We lose half a day cuz we need to be there at 4 p.m. and stay the night until their parents get home from a working party (sounds intriguing, working — party). We’ll probably be home in the wee hours of the morning. Their guest bed is mighty uncomfortable.
Before I led astray further. Therefore trying to figure out what we can do in that limited space of time is daunting. We can:
stare at our toenails wondering if they need polishing
clean up the house (nah, we’re always doing that)
go shopping (nix to that. nothing to buy)
mow the lawn (it’s raining. it’s pouring-well you get the general idea)
can do nothing. (what a concept? nothing!!)
Avid fans and readers, you decide what you would do with time on our hands. We’ll explore the suggestions you put forth and see what blossoms?
Ain’t that grand?!
9.11.2015 What to do when you’re angry?
I realize there’s a lot to be said about anger. Righteous. Indignant. Bristling. Blistery. Dangerous. There’s one more that’s needed to be added to the list. My side of the story anger.
Anger is a sudden flare-up between animals, people, and aliens. Let’s face it. That’s how wars start. When people or animals can’t get along peacefully. When one person is more right than the other. When one person is morally or ethically more right than the person who is opposite to them.
Wars suck. So does anger. I had a case of anger this morning. I’m not going into the details. We’re still trying to work those suckers out. However, until this other person hears my side of the story, I believe that he should just ‘chill out.’
He probably won’t agree with me, but until the other side hears the other side’s story, I don’t think you can continue being angry. That’s like being angry for anger sake, and that sucks. Literally.
We’ll be pursuing this anger theme for a while so get comfortable, grab a wet one and lean back. It’s gonna be a l-o-n-g week.
Until tomorrow my friends.
9.10.2015 What to do When You MisPlaced Something
We have all done this. Misplaced an item, important document, keys, and other stuff that eludes us when we most need them. Case in point. My spouse and I just moved to a new house. He uses a box cutter to open boxes, plastic, and other unattainable objects.
He never puts those box cutters in the same place twice. Why? It would make it too easy for him to find them. Or to put it plainly. He likes to annoy me. Actually, he comes up with elaborate excuses just so he can air his thoughts publicly out loud. One of the above. None of the above.
Me either. I’ve quit trying. I’ve tried reasoning with him. We ladies know how that goes. The sensible thing is to take the damn thing away from him and put it in a place where we remember, but who wants to be sensible? After all, at his age, he ought to know better.
The key words ‘he ought to KNOW BETTER. I’m pretty sure you’ve got one of those types of people living in your house too. You’re just too modest to say it out loud. That’s okay. I know how it is.
But if he misplaces that box cutter one more time…..I know. I know.
“If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all!”
8..31.2015 What to do When Someone Accuses You of Laziness?
Hello! I’ve just been accused of being lazy. Why? Because I don’t write a fresh article every day. Now, laziness might be the case or there might be another hindrance that keeps me from writing new stuff every day.
I wish that for every person that accuses me or you of laziness that they think through their accusation before leveling it. It reminds me of mob justice.
I know you all know what that means. You’ve seen enough westerns, gangsters, and other assorted media to give you the general idea. One person is convinced someone is guilty; therefore they need to swing (die).
Before cooler heads enter the fray, the mob (takes up torches) storms the palace or jail, ties up the offending character and drags them to the hanging tree, post, pole, or kills them outright.
In a story long ago made famous when written about, “The Oxbow Incident,” the wrong person is hanged.
It doesn’t do much good to go up to the wife and kids or parents or friends, sorry, didn’t mean to do that. The damage is done.
So, next time you feel like using a handy dandy one liner condemnation for someone who isn’t doing what you think should be doing, remember this, the same, my friend applies to you!
8.28.2015 What to do When You Receive a Double Billing?
We all have medical insurance. We believe that certain medical exams, treatment, or life-saving techniques will be covered by that insurance company. What do you do when you receive an unexpected bill from a company that you know your insurance company covers?
There is a certain protocol that one needs to follow besides screaming for blood, yelling for the executioner, or ripping the bill to shreds.The first step is to call the insurance company EARLY in the morning. If you don’t I guarantee you that you’ll be on that infernal cell or land phone for hours, not minutes or seconds.
Then after waiting for the various recordings to go on and off (you fill in the blanks. speak clearly or you’ll be in that introductory phase all morning), you proceed where you need to be (if you’re lucky). If not, you’re back to square one.
However for the sake of brevity, you’ve gone on to the third step. Make sure you have all of your important information. Date of birth, name, social security number, policy number, policy id; the list is endless.
Once all that is accomplished, give your information to the operator and have her listen to your plight. Hopefully, she’ll be able to help you. If not, transfer your call to the right person, and there you get to do all that previous information on the spot again.
Make sure you get a REFERENCE number. When you call up the offending party, they’ll ask for that REFERENCE number so they can get somewhere faster than you did previously.
And, that is that. If nothing proceeds as planned, there’s always the ATTORNEY GENERAL. Make your complaints to them and watch the process flow.
We’ve just moved into a new house. We ordered a piece of furniture from an American store. When we received the hutch excitement pitched to a high level until we opened the box. Not only were their important pieces missing, holes drilled iWe’ve just moved into a new house. To help us get all of our kitchen tools put safely away, we ordered a hutch from a well-known Americn the wrong spots, and incomprehensible instructions for assemblage, but the entire hutch was made in China, not in the U.S.A.
When my husband finally did get the pieces to match, it was like the saying: “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”
A word to the wise. Before you order, call the USA store and make sure it’s American made.
Two, make sure they promise to go over the instructions with you in assembling the furniture piece you’ve just ordered. Why? Because there’s many a slip between tongue and lip. Meaning, that what is printed on the instruction sheet might not contain all the instructions. If you’re not carpentry wise, then you’re up the creek without a paddle.
In American terms, sign language or not, you’re stuck with a worthless piece of furniture that many people will not be able to put together.
Three, make sure that all the pieces, that includes, screws, bolts, nuts, holes, nails, etc. are all there in the package. These days, all furniture comes with a host of supporting characters, i.e., screws, bolts, nuts, nails, etc. If it doesn’t, don’t do what my hubby did and supplant them with his own hardware items. Call up the store and ask nicely (you catch more people with honey than vinegar) and tell them you pay for the WHOLE package, not bits and pieces.
Fourth, and most importantly, find out first if you can return the item if it doesn’t qualify for the amount of $$$$ you just paid for the item. In advance, that way you won’t be stuck with a put-together piece of furniture that will never be used!
8.16.15 What to do When You Have a Thoroughly Awful Rotten Day?
What do you do when you just went through a thoroughly miserable day. Talk to any man or boy and they’ll tell you loud and clear. Hit the bar. Hit the punching bag. Stamped your feet. Yell your bloody head off. You get the idea.
Now women approach this topic a bit differently, although there are some who have three glasses of wine at home instead of the usual one or two. Or they eat a gallon of their favorite ice cream. Eat an entire bag of oreo cookies. You get the drift.
However, there are other methods of handling frustration, overkill, and you wish you had a dollar for every time someone took a little slice of you off at work. It doesn’t work that way. I’ve been trying for over 50 years and I’m still as broke as the day I started wishing that particular dream.
There are non-violent ways one can handle this thoroughly disgusting day.
1. Write it down. All of it. Hateful! Vengeful! Disgusting words. Reread what you’ve written. Toss it into the incinerator. Fire. Garbage can because that’s where it all belongs. Trash the trash!
2. Get some sculpting clay. Or mix up flour and water and make a kind of paste of sculpting paper strips. And mold, roll, punch, pull, hit, whatever turns you on and get it out of your collective systems. Hatred. Vengeful. Spiteful (Okay, it’s 3 systems. It depends on the type of anger you’re holding on to).
3. Borrow your child’s stand-up punching bag or buy an adult one. Set it up. Put on your punching mitts and let it go. All of it. Jump. Claw. Spit. (not in front of the kids or spouse or friends or relatives for that matter).
4. Take a pillow and let it go. Fling it at the floor. (less dangerous and expensive.) Punch. Hit. Strike. Let your anger out of you.
5. Borrow the trampoline. Hold on to a side bar and let your feelings out. Do whatever is necessary in a civilized manner (most trampolines are outside, not in. Goodness what would the neighbors think?)
6. Take a cold shower. Yep, it works. No one hears you when the water is running!
7. Take up long distance running. Ride a bike. Play volleyball, bandmiton, tennis, anything with a striking zone.
8. Go into a closet and scream until you feel better inside.
That should give a few ideas on what to do. Not all of them work for all of the people. Different strokes for different folks.
Think about it. Don’t let the office, day, or thoroughly awful day ruin your day, week, month, or life. It really is not worth it.
8.15.2015 What to do When Your Teen Chooses An Alternate Lifestyle? Panic or Forbid or DeProgramming?
We have all heard the horror stories about “deprogramming” captured teens from the clutches of evil civilian and/or religious cults. What happens when the damaged teen is restored to normal (or not) or drops back to their habitual ways. Before anyone points their fingers at the relapsed teen, let’s remember a few basis items.
1. What drove the teen to join this group? It’s similar to the same question one might ask why a teen or young child joins a gang? Need of a family? Father and/or mother figures (as models)? Relationships? (siblings) Act tough? (acting out-behavior). A parent must think through what has taken place in their teen’s life and try to understand what motivation the teen(s) might have to join this particular group in the first place.
Were they lure into the group? Some Asian religious groups use sugar as a snare or temptation to lure their would be victims into their group. Other religious or civilian groups use separation therapy as a resource to get the teen away from the parents. Be wary when your teen or the teen comes home excited and wants to tell you in their words about how the group acts and interacts within its own grouping. Pay careful attention. The clue words are all there.
2. When your teen suddenly demands their savings from the bank, an investment given in trust by their grandparents or inheritance from a great aunt, make sure they understand the consequences of their actions. Many of these groups take monies from them as a way of controlling that person. Of course, your teen won’t see it that way. They’ll see it as a family taking care of the responsibilities and daily activities that they (the teen) don’t want to bother with. It’s actually a way for total control over the teen.
Will the teen see it that way. Of course not! They’re teens. The grass is always greener on the other side of the street. Why should they believe you? The enemy! The establishment! The adults over 30! Horrors of horrors.
Monday, we’ll explore the other entrapment that these groups use and how a parent or legal guardian can outwit them.
8.12.2015 Panic or Forbid? What to do When Your Kids Choose an Alternate Life-style
As parents we all know that specific moment when your child (ages 1 – 9) chooses an alternate lifestyle than the one presented to them by you, their parents. In some cases, sugar-honey-ice-tea hits the pan. The good times are over, right?
Not necessarily. I’ve got a two-year old grandson. He doesn’t eat meat. Why? Don’t ask and you won’t be disappointed or angered by his answer. I don’t think my grandson knows why he doesn’t eat meat. He just doesn’t. Which left his parents and siblings in a jam. They are all meat-eaters and can’t understand why he can’t stomach the stuff.
Or take a friend of mine, one of her kids (age 7) won’t eat meat either. Why? Because as her daughter explained it to her. The world can’t sustain that many cows feeding that many people on the limited land left over when the commercial establishment has taken over.
I told you not to ask. You won’t like or agree with the answer. Or take another friend of mine. Her kids vowed never to wear animal skins again. Ouch. So what do you wear in the middle of the winter when it’s 20 below 0. Remember, don’t ask and they won’t have to tell or make up an answer or lie or whatever goes on in their heads after leaving school.
Many children see life as a series of challenges — hurdles — to get over without knocking over that hurdle or getting left behind. At a particular age, they like to start thinking for themselves even if it’s contrary to what their relatives (parents included and siblings) think.
Go along for the ride. I’ll tell you this much. The more you oppose your child(ren), the more they’ll fight back. You’re taking away their choices and decisions as to what they see as their life and they can make them (thank you very much) without your approval, good or bad, or you liking them.
Think about it. What were you like at that age? Did your parents handle it well or did they make a major goof? I always like to remind parents they were young once and made silly choices themselves. Don’t be so quick to point out their faults. I bet you’ve got plenty on some old plates that you’ve forgotten or shoved under the rug.
8.11.2015 What To Do When Your GrandKids Pull Away!
From the moment your grandkid(s) are born, you’re their number one adoring fans. Along the way, you enjoy each other’s company doing lots of exciting stuff together until they reach the age of 8 and two-thirds. Then everything changes.
They want to be alone — in their room — doing their own thing — whatever that is. And you, the grandparent feel left out — wondering — where you went wrong — and how to fix it.
First things first. Be excited for your grandkids. They’re growing up. They want their own space. They’re learning how to become independent. Sure, it hurts. You’ve done everything together up to this point. And then, wham, bam, thank you grandparents, you’re not part of the togetherness equation any more.
However, that’s not true. You’re still part of their togetherness, except now it’s on your grandkids terms. You should be beaming. You should be saying “thank God, Praise the lord and pass the ammunition.” Your grandkids are taking chances. Making choices. Determining who’s going to be part of their time now. Just be glad they still want you to play and work with them.
One of my twin granddaughters is pulling away. I let her know I’m available should she need me, but I also let her know that I respect her alone time. That everyone needs alone time to get away from the clutter, mutters, and injustices of the world. That she needs to see the world through her own eyes, her own rose-colored glasses, that she’s growing up and needs to rely on herself, and not so much on grandma or grandpa.
Don’t despair. They’ll come back. They always do. My son is 42. Trust me he comes to me when he needs me. Not very often, but when you least expect it, they turn up on your doorstep.
So, smile and be glad. Your grandkids have just stepped over the threshold of adventure and the beginnings of their experience!
8.10.2015 What To Do When Someone Proclaims Love To You and It’s Not Appreciated!
I’ve stopped accepting Friend requests on Facebook because a good friend told me that it’s a dating site especially if you receive men requesting friendship with you. I don’t know about you, but that never occurred to me that Facebook has become the new dating site.
I’m a little bit embarrass when I answered a friend request from a guy, and then he proceeded to go in for the kill. I know I’m an innocent. Even my son doesn’t know how I’ve managed all this time to survive without his expert help. Sometimes, I wonder about that. After all I did bring him up for fifteen years without embarrassing either one of us for 15 years so I’m not sure how to answer that particular question.
The gentleman I met via Facebook is a nice guy. Except he’s looking for a wife and mother to his kids. I’m way past that stage. Even if I do look 40 years all, I’m not. I’m not doddering either. I just act myself which is how I got into this faux pas in the first place.
When something like this happens to you, just remember this. It’s a compliment, but it’s also a problem that you must handle immediately. If you can’t handle it, then ask help from a best friend (your husband for example) and see if you quench that person’s enthusiasm about you.
I’ve been married happily (even in the worst of times) to one man for over 26 years and I have no intention of starting over from scratch. It’s just not gonna happen. Sometimes in life, we are forced in life to make decisions that might hurt other people, but in the long run works out for everyone concern.
I’m facing that problem now. And yes, my HUSBAND knows. I’ve asked him for help and he’s the cavalry. I know he’ll let the guy down gently, but with strength, dignity, and compassion.
After all, everyone knows, “it’s hard to find a good woman!”
8.9.2015 What to Do When You Are Overwhelmed?
A strange event happened to me one day. I didn’t expect it. Never really believed in it, and yet it happened and took me quite by surprise.
Never mind what that special event was, it was how it was delivered that blew me away t-o-t-a-l-l-y! No one is ever prepared for an event that blows them away. The event is so overwhelming, it makes a person cry — or laugh — or shout for joy — or sometimes just shut down.
When I heard the news, I couldn’t decide how to react to it. Should I cry first and thank God later? Should I laugh and say “No way!” and wait for the other boot to drop? Should I scream and jump for joy and then sit back patting myself on the back? Of course I did none of that. And the person on the other end of the line didn’t help me out much either. All that party said was to “take a deep breath and let it out slowly.”
And I did. Take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Now many of you may ask is it like winning the lottery? I can say truthfully. I don’t know. I’ve never won the lottery before. In fact, I don’t win first place either. Or second. Or third. You might say I’m a late bloomer. Although the turtle always win the race.
However, the next time you get this overwhelming feeling that you’ve just scored 100 % or won the lottery, let me tell you something that will deflate you quickly. If it’s too good to be true, it usually is and until you see the money on the table with a contract waiting to be signed, don’t sing out just yet.
That’s what I’m doing. Waiting to see the money in my hand and a signed contract in my lawyer’s filing box. Because things can be too good to be true, and I don’t want egg on my face.
7.31.15 What to Do When Faced with a Bad Attitude
Of course, it plays both ways. The one with the bad attitude and the one receiving the bad attitude. Today, we’re talking about being at the butt end of someone’s bad attitude. As my teen use to say, it was a bummer — a drag — to deal with someone else’s dirty laundry. Meaning that the person who’s being attacked is not to blame for the present situation when tempers are lost or sensitivities are attacked for no apparent reason.
I know that many young women and older women blame it on their monthlies. Their tempers are shorter. Their emotions out of whack. That particular list is endless. What I want to know is whom do the men blame when they’ve got a bad case of attitude.
In my youth, it never occurred to me that I wasn’t the only one walking on God’s green earth with a temporary bad attitude. My mother use to tell me and my brother that we needed attitude adjustments. So, here’s some attitude adjustments to help you along the way when you’re suddenly attacked by someone with a bad attitude.
1) Don’t take it personally. This is one rule of thumb you must keep uppermost in mind. To the person attacking you, it’s personal, but their attitude is not specifically aimed at you. You were in the wrong place at the wrong time. It has nothing to do with you. You became their trigger. An excuse for that person to let loose whatever venom has been collecting for some time now. So, don’t take it personally and let it ruin your day.
2. Ride out the storm. In other words, don’t fall into the sand trap that was just presented to you. Just allow those hateful words to roll over or off your back and fall to the wayside. I know it’s difficult to do that because the human in you wants to fight back. Don’t bother. This is one situation where you’re not going to win — not even close. Don’t get started. Remember the saying, “Let it roll off your back.” You’ll be a better person that way.
3. Don’t get started with that person. I know from personal experience it’s a lose lose situation. You’re not going to win. Just listen quietly and keep your thoughts and advice to yourself. They don’t want to hear what you have to say. They have an agenda. The agenda is to give everyone else within their range a bad time, ruining a day or moment. Don’t give them any opportunity at all to get started. Let them talk themselves dry, and then you, walk away and dump it. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your own life.
4. Be compassionate. Everyone has a bad attitude from one minute to the next. It sometime’s is hard to adjust your behavior pattern because the rest of the world doesn’t care that they’re not well off emotionally.
Do the best that you can do.
Life is to be lived and reckoned with.
Tomorrow attitude on the other shoe!
7.30.15 What to Do When the Little Things in Life Afflict You.
Recently, I moved from Ann Arbor, MI to Honey Brook, PA. It was the MOVE from HELL, but that’s another story. There’s one thing I’ve learned on this trip. It’s a simple phrase that anyone can employ when they can’t or won’t take it any longer. ‘It is what it is.”
Such a simple statement to make, but alas, all too true. The first time I used it was on my granddaughters when we walked home from Star Bucks. One closed her eyes and hung onto to the arm that carried the hot decaf coffee. And, yes, the cup tipped over and I got splattered with hot, hot coffee.
Of course, the adult emotional buttons were hit and a load of words fell from my mouth. But I stopped myself and said in a calmer voice. It is what it is.
You see In knew that my granddaughter hadn’t intentionally knocked into me and spilled the coffee. It was an accident. Cotton pants are washable. Granddaughters can’t. Pants are expendable, but granddaughters are not.
So, I nudged it up to a higher authority. Made the trip home without spilling any more coffee on my pant’s legs, and washed the coffee stains with cold water and a napkin. And, all is well that ends well.
Tomorrow, another example of It is what it is!
7.06.15 What to Do When Your Teenager Waltzes in Past Curfew
I suspect many of us don’t remember our past lives — as teenagers. Fortunately for my son, I do. In my day, we used ladders to gain access to the second floor and climb in through the conveniently opened window. Sometimes, we got caught, by the local police, who suspected us of doing just that.
In retrospect, for those folk who are still raising teens in one fashion or another, there are ways to handle this situation without either one of the parties feeling injured, wronged, or misunderstood.
The first thing I did with my teen is wait up for them, foot tapping, crossed arms on chest, and waited with baited breath to hear their excuse this time.
However, on those nights when we the parents really wanted to hear what inventive story our son had to tell, we would doze on the couch, checking our respective watches and watched all the television shows we were denied when we were teens.
When your curfew breaker enters the house, don’t pounce on them immediately. Hear what they have to say first, then act. ACT, not react. It’s fairly easy to shout, scream, stamp feet, and roar insults or curses at your off spring, but DON’T.
And, be prepared for the truth peppered with some existing or non existing details. My son’s favorite line was the police stopped him on a lonely road with his date and gave him a lecture and a ticket for speeding. Acceptable.
Or he was waylaid by another motor vehicle that suddenly swerved into his field of vision or lane of traffic and a fender-bender took place. At least, they didn’t land in the hospital or the city morgue.
Or she was bumped by a stranger-danger car, and they fled to the nearest police station or fire station, and were detained by reporting the incident in.
Be gentle with them. The rite of passage into adulthood is tricky enough without adding unnecessary drama to the event.
7.05.15 What to Do When You Find There’s Nothing to Eat on the Restaurant Menu #28???
Going out to eat for these people may be “mission impossible” to find a suitable item to select from the menu. There are methods to avoid this problem.
I have often found that some menus no matter how well meaning can often become a mine field for some of us unlucky few who are caught between a rock and a hard place. No sugar. No salt. No fried food. No red meat. Sometimes, the list is pretty endless. I won’t bore you with the details.
Before erupting, take a second look at the appetizers and the add on side dishes. You can sometimes find a way out of your dilemma.
I often pick a pasta with tomato sauce without meat. I’ll pick eggplant with tomato sauce. Fat free yogurt without the syrup, but with the fruit. I pick out avocado, toasted croutons, any kind of seeds and nuts and opt for no dressing salad.
(It does sound dreadful.) However, for desserts, I chose applesauce (without sugar), fruit (any kind-no coconut), cucumbers, anything that I can see that won’t effect my dietary needs too much.
Is it a drag? You bet! I drink water with squeezed lemon and some splenda packets. Yup, homemade lemonade. Order tomato juice with a stalk of celery. Who’s to know?
You can eat out. It does become a challenge. It doesn’t sink the fleet. It’s one meal out of a billion. And, yes, I do cheat occasionally. I eat dessert!
No chocolate. No mints. Red bean ice cream. Green tea ice cream. Yum!
7.02.15 What to Do When You’re Unprepared #27???
We have all braved the storms of uncertainty. Students experience uncertainty more often when they fail to study for an exam, write a term paper, or caught with an outright excuse.
Adults have also braved these waters of uncertainty when they failed to prepare for an important meeting, unasked question, or didn’t study the material the night before.
Let’s face it. Uncertainty — not being prepared — doesn’t always take us by surprise. Somehow we have prepared to be not prepared.
Some authorities might call it laziness. The fear of being recognized for an unspoken or unsung talent. Others might call it waggling where you sort-of know the material, but not all of it, but enough to pass the grade.
The remaining few might just attribute it to lack of interest in the subject matter and desires the event or situation to be met and gotten over quickly.
Whatever the reason or reasons, being not prepared is sometimes a difficult feeling to handle. Emotion plays a huge part. The eyes, cheeks, and sudden intake of breath usually indicates that the subject is not prepared to step up to the plate and perform.
I know for myself such an occurrence will take place today. I’ve been beating myself mentally to study the material. I’ve gone over it so many times that I could recite it in my sleep.
However, the anxiety remains. Will I remember the material word-for-word, or will I drop the ball and look like a duffus in front of the grill master.
Only time will tell.
7.01.15 What to Do When Someone Asks for Your Opinion #26???
You knew it would happen sooner than later. And, sooner has appeared on your doorstep. Someone has asked you for an opinion — an unbiased one, a thought-out one, a planned or unplanned one.
Most people initial response is to panic. You think all kinds of evil thoughts. Your first response: Why me? Why couldn’t they have asked someone else?
Once panic sets in, you’re doomed. Face it. It’s a compliment when someone asks you for your opinion. This individually really wants to know what you think, why you think it, and whether they should follow your opinion, i.e. advice.
It’s a hard thing to decide whether you want to risk it or not. It might be the wrong thing to say. It might destroy the individual in question. It might make them feel better. It might change their path. It might persuade them to think further or reflect upon which they’re about to embark upon.
Whether it does or does not, make sure you frame your opinion in a positive light. If your opinion is negative, make sure you do so gently. People are very positive-negative when they hear other individuals thoughts.
So, whatever you decide to do, remember this. Whatever thoughts you have on the matter, consider them carefully before sharing them with the person who asked for them. It might just ricochet back to you.
6.30.15 What To Do When You Accomplish That Favor #25???
Yesterday someone asked you for a favor. Whether for better or for worse, you did as you were asked. What I want to know is what you’re going to ask for in return? You’re not?
You’re doing the favor because your friend asked you to do it pro bono? You’re doing the favor because it makes you look like a good guy? You’re doing the favor because ? Fill in the blank(s).
Before you do your pal a favor, just remember to ask them one thing: Are you the whipping boy if something doesn’t transpire the way your friend envision it to be?
Find out what the favor entails. Make sure it’s legit, ethical, and safe. Otherwise back away and run as fast as you can. I’ve done plenty of favors for my friends when asked.
Guess what? I reserve the right to say no without damaging our friendship. I ask what the favor is, why me, and what’s the possible outcome of such a favor.
The problem is some favors are considered risky. I want to have a contingency plan in place in case something unexpected happens.
Yeah, it’s a bum deal. But nowadays people sometimes ask the impossible of their friends for whatever the reasons. It’s always best to Be Prepared just in case the unexpected happens.
That way, when the time comes, you can go up to that same person and ask them to do you a favor in return.
6.29.15 What to Do When Someone Asks You For a Favor #24???
It’s been a long work week when a fellow-worker marches up to you with a solemn expression and asks you for a favor. What to do?
Of course, the sensible answer is “maybe,” “perhaps,” “what do you want me to do?” If you answer with those replies, your chances of surviving the favor ask exists. However, if you say yes automatically, the outcome may come out differently as you or your fellow-worker perceived. And, who wants to create an outright enemy by saying NO before you know what you’re saying no to.
In my experience, I’ve learned to find out exactly what that favor entails and whether you think your percentage of achieving that favor will work out with none getting hurt, deceived, compromised, or being left out in the cold.
There are all kinds of favors that one person can ask of another. Make sure you know what type of favor your fellow worker has in mind before giving a definite reply.
We all know that lying doesn’t work out well for any one. Also, covering up another’s persons mistake doesn’t always work out well either. Making up a story or trying to win credit for someone else has all the properties of backfiring in your face.
Nope, the sensible answer to give is “hedge” your bets and make sure you can live with the consequences of your and their acts before giving a resounding yes for that favor.
Tomorrow, what do you ask for in return for doing that favor or don’t you?
6.28.15 What To Do When You’re At A Loss For Words #23??
Someone pays you a surprise compliment, rare advice, criticize your work, and for once, words fail you. What to do?
You could shrug it off and then walk away with no one being the wiser. You haven’t insulted anyone with an unkind remark. You didn’t curse someone out unthinkingly. You didn’t smirk, frown, laugh, cried, farted, or burped. You just walk away from the problem.
You could give the old ‘thumbs up’ to whomever just said to you whether it was meant unkindly, in a jest, or possibly a gentle tease.
You could smile and clap your hands indicating you’ve just heard what they’ve said to you.
You could cry. Throw a tantrum. Even punch someone’s lights out because you’ve disagreed with their assessment of the situation.
However, none of these might work, be accepted graciously, or possibly indicate to that person or people that you understood what their true motives might be.
In this type of situation when words fail you, just nod either yes or no and then, walk away with a Mona Lisa smile plastered on your face. That way none are offended. None are disappointed. None are angry, sad, or disgusted.
This way, you save face and walk away with your unsaid words stuck in your throat and no one is the wiser.
6.27.15 What To Do When You’re Having a Bad Day #22???
Everyone it seems has a bad hair day. You’ve gotten out of bed on the wrong side. Your dog ate your budget report for the department. The car won’t start. It’s out of gas compliments from your teenager from the night before last.
We all have bad days and young parents can testify to bad nights. Staying up all night calming an unruly baby. Waiting for your teenager to appear past curfew. The lists are usually endless.
What happens to your bad day is your responsibility to deal with, handle, cope, and move on. Not everyone is appreciative of someone’s else’s bad days or nights. Lack of sleep doesn’t make up for coming to work or school late. The opposition will understand, but hey, it’s your responsibility to make that bad day or night go away.
We have all managed to get through one of those times. We’ve struggled, drank plenty of coffee or coke or pepsi, stole naps in the bathroom or down in the car, or just plain sagged through the day.
However whenever you do have a bad day, don’t pass it on to the people around you. They won’t appreciate it very much, if at all. They’re having their own bad days and won’t appreciate yours adding to their burdens.
6.26.15 What To Do When You’re Caught Lying #21???
You thought you made it to the finish line only to have someone pounce and catch you telling a lie or finding out you lied to them. What do you do? Blush? Giggle? Deny? Cry? Run? Stammer a reply?
We’ve all been through the wringer when being caught in a lie. It’s terrible if your children catch you because you’ve just done lecturing them on not telling a lie. It’s embarressing when a fellow co-worker catches you because you’re reduced to mumbling an apology. It’s your job-on-the-line when your boss catches you because you’ve got allot more explaining to do.
How do you handle a situation when you’re caught in a lie? The first obvious answer is to admit you’re lying in the first place, then explain (if you can) why you bothered lying in the first place. We know from the past experiences that there’s all kinds of lying and degrees of lying.
There’s the little white lie to cover your ass or someone elses. There’s the make-up story lie that’s told to protect your self interests or someone’s back. There’s the legal-lie that many people resort to when asked by a friend, relative, spouse or family member. There’s the “I had to protect you” lie that’s so often manipulated by friends, family, spouses, and other adults when the situation gets too hot to handle.
All of these lies are convenient ways to avoid telling the truth. In matters of justice and the courts, it’s called perjury and carries a stiff penalty if caught telling a lie. There’s corporal punishment for the stories people and children tell to avoid the current truth of the matter. For the rest of those lies much depends on why you lie in the first place.
If your paycheck depends on lying to a boss or co-worker, then you must consider if it’s worth the risk. Loosing your job is bad, but there’s other stuff that’s at risk as well. Consider your situation before embarking on that journey.
For all the other lies that one uses in moments of great doubt, confusion, embarressment, and other unpleasant tasks, consider the consequences of what that one lie or series of lies can do to you, personally, business, or in human interaction with your loved ones.
It’s never easy to walk away from being boxed in. The only way not to be caught lying is not to start lying in the first place. Like I told my son many years ago. It’s easier to tell the truth, the whole truth the first time out than to remember all the details of lying.
6.25.15 What to Do When You Lie to Your Children? #20???
We’ve all been there as parents. Fess up. We don’t like to think of ourselves as liars, but parents do sometimes lie to their children for a variety of reasons. The number one reason: Not to hurt their feelings. Really?
Number two comes in as a closer reason: I couldn’t AFFORD to let them down like that, so I did it gently — to spare them. Come on parents. You can do better than that.
I always like to remind parents and otherwise sane adults that Once Upon a Time YOU were children awaiting anxiously for the same or similar type of lie from your own parents. And so it goes back through the ages.
Parents and other adults LIE to their offspring. Why? I can’t say sure for exactly, but there are ways and means to avoid that definite parent trap.
NEVER put yourself in a position where you lie to your children. How? Never, Never, Ever Promise them anything that you might break your word on.
Remember that special word your own parents taught you? T – R – U – S – T! An individual is born with it, but once you loose it, it takes a lifetime to EARN back? Well, you’ve got the picture. Lie to your children and they WILL never believe you or in you again.
You don’t think it happens, but it does. Take this author’s advice. I ALWAYS used these words when bringing up my child. “Perhaps.” “Maybe.” “We’ll see.” “It depends.” “Let me think on it.”
So when I couldn’t bring about what that cherished event(s) happen(ed), couldn’t make it to a party(ies), wouldn’t take them skiing, ice skating, roller blading, couldn’t allow them to go somewhere(s) with somebody(ies), I WASN’T BREAKING MY WORD(S) WITH THEM OR LYING TO THEM.
These are the words in my arsenal. I still use them with my grandchildren so I never have to lie to them. And, when something happens out of my control – well, there’s always the truth.
It’s painful. It hurts like hell. But, it sure makes living really easy on my ego — and theirs (children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, & neighborhood children) as well.
6.04.15 What to Do When You Tell a Lie at Work #19??
Have you ever told a lie at work?
Don’t lie to me. If you’re in an administrative position or speaking with your boss or even speaking to a friend, relative, or spouse on the phone at work, do you sometimes lie?
What about that ‘little white lie? What about that insignificant lie you told covering for your boss? How about the whopper you told at the company picnic? Caught with your pants down?
Have you ever tried to explain the difference of work lies to lies that you use at home, church, the soda shop, or taking little Stevie to the dentist?
Do you mean to lie? What are some of the most infamous work lies that are used daily? Ever thought about it? Well — I have.
1. The lie you told a senior boss to cover your bosses lateness or absence from work.
2. The lie you told a client that your boss isn’t in the office, but he/she’s there, with the door closed, calmly reading a book or talking on the phone to their stockbroker.
3. The lie you told your best friend three desks away from you when your boss gave you permission to attend a rock concert during the day, but failed to invite the rest of the office staff.
4. The lie you told your husband/wife that you’re being late because of a late meeting at work while you go out with the boys/girls.
5. The lie you told your son/daughter why you can’t make it to the big game while you’re going to a tailgate party this weekend.
6. The lie you told to your mother/father/aunt/uncle why you couldn’t visit them because of a late emergency meeting called for this weekend.
Yeah, the list is pretty endless. So, how do you explain lies to spouses and children and relatives when your income depends on it. How do you tell them that your company is paying you to lie on a daily basis.
Does it make it right? Will the cross of Jesus topple over you while you’re praying. Will God turn his head and visit you with the malice of Jacob, Joseph, and Abraham?
Will your house catch fire? Will your golden tongue shrivel and fall out. Will your ears burn?
None of the above?
Think about it. If you lie at work will you lie at home too?
When does it stop? This lying at the office versus lying in general.
Think about it. And let me know. I’m curious about how well or how badly you lie.
5.31.15 What to Do When You’re Caught In a Lie #18???
Mostly applies to teenagers and children, but I’ve known a few adults that get caught telling lies a well. What do you do when you’re caught telling a lie?
There are two ways only that I can see. Tell another lie to cover up the first lie or tell the truth. Meaning you admit to telling a lie in the first place and promise never to lie again.
There’s the rub. Not telling a lie. Of course, we have all told lies. I admit that I’ve done so. We seem to lie a lot at work. Don’t shake your head NO at me. I’ve lied at work.
Secretaries, clerks, and administrative assistants are often placed in positions of authority by their boss. Many of these people also tell ‘little white lies’ for their boss or supervisor or manager.
When I worked in Houston, TX, I found myself telling little white lies to cover my boss’ ass. In fact, one day I was caught by his boss that I told him a lie. Fortunately for me, he didn’t chew my head off. He asked me for the truth, and I told him.
Needless to say, I never lied for my boss again.
So there it is. Sometimes a person must make a distinction between telling the truth and fibbing so that everyone rests comfortable at night.
We’ll discuss this more in upcoming posts.
5.28.15 What to Do When You’re Told “That’s Different” #17???
We’ve all been told that particular paraphrase from time to time in our lives, “that’s different.” Haven’t you ever wondered what “difference those people are talking about? I often have. In fact, when my son was in his teens, he was trying to get adult privileges without being an adult or worse, not having earned those special privileges. When he started complaining, I told him “that’s different.” He compared what he wanted to do what I was already doing.
The difference being that I was an adult and had gone through the fire and flames to become an adult. While he, a mere lad of 15 or 16 still had some growing up to do, besides not having earned the right to do what I was doing.
What was I doing? I came home past midnight. His curfew hour. He didn’t like that I could out stay out later, come home, go to bed, and get up the next day and go to work without anyone being the wiser. He thought he should have that privilege because now he was “a man.” I didn’t agree with him and told him so.
That was a fair “that’s different.” There are other times, though, when adults, parents, and respective relatives use “that’s different” to their advantage and know it. A child, teen, or younger adult asks for something that the older person really isn’t ready to share with them or want them to experience the same reality that they experience, or just refuse to look at all the facts. When pressed by the opposition, they come out with the statement, “that’s different” as if that one phrase explains everything there and then. That this person doesn’t have to take responsibility for what they’ve said. This person is either dodging the issue or hiding behind an excuse.
Don’t get me wrong. Sometimes, it’s necessary to assert your dominance or control over a particular person. You want to distinguish yourself or differentiate yourself from the other person. Be careful of how you do it. Don’t get into the habit of using the phrase “that’s different” when you mean something else entirely different.
You might be surprised to hear one day from your opposition the same phrase you just uttered weeks ago, “that’s different!”
5.26.15 What to Do When You’ve Been Caught in a Lie #16 ???
Know that feeling? Your ears turn bright red. You perspire under your arms heavily. Your stomach sinks to the floor. You wish the floor would swallow you? Yeah, we’ve all done it. One time or another.
Funny thing is, you don’t want to believe that you were just caught out. What do you do?
1. Tell another lie to cover the first one.
2. Admit you made a mistake and apologize.
3. Smile sheepishly, mumble a bit, and then promise you’ll never lie again. I know how embarrassing it is to tell a lie. In fact in my line of work there are 2 kinds of lies. Actually 3 or 4 depending on how you look at it. The FIRST kind of lie is the outright lie. You make up something to cover a mistake and hope and pray that no one else knows that you’re not telling the truth. The SECOND kind of lie is what I call ‘a little white lie.’ It’s a mixture of truth and lie. You use it mostly at work and sometimes as an adult speaking to your parents or older adults. No one is quite sure how it is crept into our behavior, but it’s there. Kids tell their parents white lies most of the time. The THIRD kind of lie is the one that is pure fiction. You keep on adding details to keep people from figuring out just how much you’ve made up. This is the type of lie where you keep your fingers and toes cross and hopes that no one will pierce this thick armor of story telling. The FOURTH kind of lie is the worst. This is the lie that the person who originally told the lie actually believes it’s the truth. No one can gain say them. They won’t believe it’s not the truth because they’ve repeated it so often that they’re prepared to defend it with their life if possible.
There you have it. The four lives of behavior that everyday people use whenever a situation calls for it. Don’t believe it. Lying is the worst form of truth one can use.
Like I told my son. Tell the truth. Deal with it. Get over with it. Then you won’t have to remember what you said when, to whom, and why. It takes a lot of stress off your mind, stomach, and trust. Because if you lie too much and get caught, you loose your integrity and trust.
Trust me, you don’t want to do it. It will take a lifetime for you to replace!
5.25.15 What to Do When You’ve Been Scammed #15???
Besides getting that sick feeling that you’ve been duped, what else have you learned from this bitter experience. Some people eventually get over their embarrassment. Some people refuse to report the incident to the police because they feel stupid. Don’t go to the police so another person may not fall into that trap.
Most of the scam artists target the elderly because they’re easy pickings. Others concentrate on the young (teens to 20’s) because of their lack of experience.
A common law: If you don’t know, DON’T DO IT. That’s your inner voice warning you that something doesn’t add up. “If it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.” This applies to sudden wealth, either found on the street or by a stranger giving you free money.
If you need to go to the bank. STOP right there and run for your life. Not only are these scams found on the street, they’re found on the internet. No one wins millions of dollars. No one has a dead relative hidden away from view and then you’re named as a key relative that will inherit millions. It just doesn’t work that way folks.
Beware of men and women dressed up to play a part. Call that particular department and verify if these people are the real McCoy.
And definitely don’t open your door or windows to people whom you feel particularly uncomfortable with. A good rule of thumb is to follow your gut. Don’t answer the door bell. Don’t open the door. Don’t answer the phone after a certain time. In fact, if you’re fearful, get that extra feature that comes with all phones. Mobile or standard and let them leave you a message. If it sounds suspicious, get someone whom you trust to listen to the message.
In other words, don’t become vulnerable. Don’t make it easy for them to take advantage of you.
When my son was 10, I fell for a free vacation scheme. Imagine my surprise when Playboy magazine arrived in the mail. My son was delighted. That was the year he made extra money on the playgirl bunnies pictures.
A mom called up really mad that my son would sell the picture to her son. I was really mad that her son could pay the outrageous fee my son wanted. Imagine that!!
So, if you don’t like surprises and you want to keep your money safe and sound, practice safe money habits. Keep it where it belongs. Out of someone else’s pocket UNLESS you know 100% that this person is honest as the day is long!
5.24.15 What to Do When You’re Doctor Tells You to Loose Weight Part 2; #14???
As promised here’s some more helpful tips.
1. Do like the Southern belles did before they attended a party, a gathering, or went on a picnic. EAT before the event, NOT at the event. It will keep you from eating too much of the wrong thing.
2. Drink lots of water. Yeah, I know. You put on weight with it. Me, too. I drink lemon water with a little bit of alternate sweetener. My own private glass of lemonade. And, no one is the wiser, but it fills you up. Try it with hot water as well. It really does the trick. You tend to drink a lot more water that way.
3. Eat the vegetables WITHOUT the dressing. Or ask your host for a bottle of lemon juice and pepper. Mix the two together. A great dressing. It makes your veggies and salad zing. Or try Balsamic vinegar. Again, a different taste for your taste-buds.
4. Depending on what your doctor/nutritionist prescribes for you, stay away from too much fat and sugar. Take a good look at the list of ingredients on the package. If it has more than 10 grams of sugar, your body will store it as fat. Didn’t know that, didja?
5. Don’t drink a lot of alcohol. Useless calories. Useless sugar. All that sugar turns to added poundage. Drink near beer or near wine. I know. Yuk, but if you’re serious about losing weight, then be serious about what you’re putting into your system.
Too much fat causes heart attacks, clogs arteries, and looks terrible in a bikini. Not that I ever wore one. I did wear a two piece swim suit once, but I got so burned from the sun I swore them off. One piece swim suits look best on me. Honest!
Take it from someone who’s on an eternal diet. And, you, too, will need to stay to a diet until you’re put into the ground or burned to cinders because that’s the way it works.
I don’t expect everyone to diet unless under extreme pressure. I came from a culture where women dieted all their life, up and down mood swings, and ate their way their fritos and potato chips with dip and scotch whiskey. One died an alcoholic. One died from breast and colon cancer, and one died from Parkinson. Take your pick. None of them are nice diseases. You don’t want to invite any of them into your system voluntarily.
Trust me on that!
5.23.15 What to Do When You’re Doctor Tells You to Loose Weight 13???
We’ve all gone in for our annual physical. Some people hold their breaths. Some remove their shoes before stepping on the scale. Others don’t eat until after their doctor’s appointment. I’m sure the list is endless.
First things first. When your doctor mentions that you’re a bit overweight. Ask him for a referral to a nutritionist. A what? You heard me. A nutritionist! Why? Because in medical school, my doctor told me they don’t teach nutrition to doctors-in-training. And, you sure want someone who knows what they’re doing plus giving you an individual plan. Not a mass plan for every Tom, Dick, or Harry who comes along.
Yes, I have known people who haven’t successfully lost weight with Weight Watchers even though they have followed the dietary plan faithfully. I have heard people complain that the commercial plans don’t work for them even though they have spend thousands of dollars buying their products.
Makes you wonder what does work. Older folks, 50 plus, I’ve got bad news for you. No matter how strictly you adhere to your diet plan, you’re going to put on weight over night. Deal with it and get over it as my son tells me after I whine a little bit too much for his liking.
So, there you have it. Tomorrow, Sunday, being the day before the big, big food spread, I’m going to give you some ideas of how to fight the battle of the bulge and be successful. Does it work? Hell yes. Does it take time? Hell yes. Does it matter?
Let me ask you something. You and your significant other want to spend your quality years together? Hell yes, then give it the old college try. What do you have to loose. Except for a few pounds.
By the way, those miraculous pills that everyone swears by. Be careful. Not only are they expensive, but they might not get along too well with any of those prescription medicines that your doctor has put you on. Just a thought from someone who’s been there a million-billion times!
5.22.15 What To Do When You Fall Asleep 12???
We’ve all done it. 1) Nod off. 2) Close our eyes. 3) Resting our eyes 4) Napping 5) Daydreaming
It’s embarrassing. Uncomfortable. Unforgiven. What can you do? What can you say? I have a chronic illness which makes me sleepy all the time. I try to take naps during the day so when I’m out and about, I don’t fall asleep on people. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. And, I just pray that I won’t snore!
Yeah, we’ve all done it at one time or another during our lifetime. Is there a cure for this problem? I haven’t found one. I do have some ideas though that will help you out in the long run so possibly it either won’t happen as much or possibly it won’t happen at all. Much depends on the individual reading this blog to make their choice.
1) Take a 10 minute nap. It doesn’t have to be long. Just long enough to catch your breath and allow yourself some breathing room.
2) Drink some coffee. Or a coke. Tea works as well. Anything to wake you up.
3) Don’t eat a heavy meal for lunch or dinner. The Spanish take naps in the afternoon because of the heat and also because they eat a heavy meal. Heavy meals make one sleepy. Don’t forget all those times that Uncle Harry and Granpa David pushed away from the less loaded table and groaned their way to an armchair and sat with their eyes closing in on themselves. Each light during the day.
4) Pace yourself. Don ‘t hurry along unless you must. When you finish exercising move slowly so that your insides catch up with your outside.
5) Get a full night’s sleep. This includes not reading under the blanket with a flashlight or a torch light. Most people need at least 8 hours of sleep. Children require more. Boys require more than girls.
6) Don’t punish yourself and stay up for 3 nights to watch The Star Trek Marathon unless the rest of the week is off for you. Yes, it’s true. You will never make up the sleep that you miss. So, again pace yourself. Make copies of the marathon and then run it during a rainy weekend.
7) Relax before you go to bed. It helps let you sleep better. In fact, wear socks to bed. They’ll keep your feet warm and the warmth will spread up your body.
Make it easier on yourself. Our lives are hectic enough without adding lack of sleep or rest in between our antics, exercise, jobs, and busy days.
Falling asleep while someone speaks is rude, crude, and socially unaccepted. Try and change your routine so that you can get that extra 20 minutes a day. I know a teen who slept through class. He rolled under the stage in the auditorium and no one saw him again until the bell rang at 3 p.m. It’s a hell of a way to go through school — let alone life!
5.21.15 What To Do When You’ve Run Out of Things To Say 11???
You’re in a room full of people. Everyone is talking at once, except you. You’ve run out of things to say, haven’t you. And you stand there looking like a fool because you’re the only one not saying a thing at all.
Well, brood no more my friend. Here’s a list of stuff to say whenever you’re own conversation runs dry or the words freeze in your mind for instant replay later in repetitive mode later.
1) Memorize several quotes. Pick the most appropriate one you believe will help start a conversation, and then roll with it. You’ll be amaze how much verbiage you can get out of one specific quote.
2) Learn several stories with alternate endings of course. You choose the ending that best applies to whatever point you want to get across. The next time tell the same story, but with a different ending. Change the names of the characters. Change the location. Don’t make the story sound the same each time. The point of a story is to draw attention to some particular fact, information, or moral you want to get across, but you don’t sound like you’re preaching.
3) Listen intently to what the other people are saying. Fasten on a key word or key phrase, and then with your most sincere voice, question them about what they’ve just said. You’ll be amazed by the amount of content one can achieve with this one question.
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Thanks again for reading my blog. I really appreciate it!
5.20.15 What To Do When the Cat has Got Your Tongue 10??
Ever been addressed when standing in a crowd or sitting at a banquet table when someone turns around and asks your opinion. Rather than say something stupid or say anything, you elect to keep your mouth shut, and someone shouts out, “Cat got your tongue?”
The next time someone thoughtlessly attacks you with this statement, smile, then say, “My mother told me if I’ve got nothing nice to say, then remain silent.” Or if that gem doesn’t work, you could always say, “I’m thinking. Ever try it before?”
Don’t let people pressure you into saying something that you don’t believe in, agree with, or talk for the pleasure of hearing your voice. Those ways lead down a dark and lonely path. There are some people who demand instant answers, what some call instant gratification. But if you don’t have an appropriate answer, don’t compromise yourself. No one is worth you denying yourself, your faith, your loyalty, your worth if you don’t have a ready answer.
The next time someone calls out to you, “Cat got your tongue,” ignore them and continue to reflect and think about what you’re going to say before you say it. After all, once your opinion is out there, you’ll need to defend it. And in defending your opinion, you’re asserting your independence of thinking for yourself and not for someone else!
5.19.15 What To Do When It Pours 9??
Every had one of those days when everything happens at once, and you’re left with that bewildering feeling? Your stomach cramps? Your breath shortens? Your eyes water? You feel alone, confused, hot, bothered and confused?
Well, recently I had one of those days when everything (for a change) came together. All the news I’ve been waiting for came all on one day. The floodgates opened and viola, I had to sit down before I fell down.
Going to sleep was a nightmare. My mind jumped like a frog, hopping to what if, how will I, is it feasible to oh my gosh, now what? Yup, it was one of those days in my otherwise very quiet life.
This is how I solved my problem. No, I didn’t meditate. I couldn’t even have gotten to first base if I had tried. My mind was flopping. No, what I did was 1) take a deep breath and let it out slowly; 2) quieted my mind with images of my enemies naked; 3) walked around the house twice; 4) drank a tall glass of moderately cold water; 5) slapped a warm washcloth on my face; 6) kept my spouse awake with my questions; 7) turned on the radio; 8) listened to classical music, and I was off the dreamland.
Wondering how things are progressing today? Tune in tomorrow and find out.
5.18.15 What To Do When You’ve Lost 8???
We’ve all done it. Thrown that hissy fit when we loose a game, our favorite team looses, loose a bet, just loose in general. How do we handle it? Not good if the news is correct in its reporting. 1) Fans overrun the field and attack players 2) Booing – Throw the umpire out 3) Fight 4) Curse 5) Throw a Tantrum 6) Cry 7) Refuse to shake hands 8) Bully until we get our way…the list is endless.
I’m not going to ask how many of you have done the following listed above. As a nation, we hate to loose at any cost. Which is sad. Because, it’s a reflection on us. On how we handle ourselves and actions to the outside world.
What do they teach them at school or on the playing field? As long as you don’t get caught. Oh right, that’s cheating. Another subject I’ll approach. Right now let’s focus on loosing. What happens when you’re a poor sportsman? Does it show for long?
You bet? How long? The rest of your life. Loosing is part of winning. Just like failure is part of success. You can’t have one without the other.
Think about it.
Then, let me know.
5.17.15 What To Do When You’re Stressed 7???
Ever get stressed out so much you’ve wanted to 1) pass out 2) put it in stomach 3) sleep 4) scream 5) cry 6) temper tantrum 7) blame others 8) vomit 9) give up 9) strike out 10) curse?
Welcome to everyone’s world. Because people’s behavior suffer a minor or major setback when they’ve become stress. We’re all familiar with the commercial that shows a man/woman/child go into the freezer and take out a gallon of ice cream and start eating it. My mom use to take out an entire package of Oreo cookies and eat it in one sitting. Other people use other types of stress food to eat their way out of a difficulty that just adds more pressure to their life. Frankly, my dear, no one gives a damn or do they?
When I feel that stress is getting to my stomach, I drink soothing liquids. What may they be? Tea. Decaf coffee. Lemonade aide. Something that I associate with that provides a warm hug for me. When you’re stressed out, hugs work. So do smiles.
Take a deep breath. Exercise. Walk. Lift weights. Take your dog or cat out for their daily constitutional. Phone a friend. Go to the library, bookstore, anywhere where you can go away from yourself and browse. You don’t have to buy anything. Just get away from the temptation–location–person and relax. Find something — anything– to get your mind off your present difficulties.
Stress is a killer. 1) Heart attacks 2) Blood pressure 3) stomach trouble 4) Lupus 5) Anxiety 6) Unhappiness 7) Anger 8) Low quality of Life 9) Exhausted 10) Draining.
Yup, it’s all of those. So do yourself a favor and get rid of that stress!
5.14.15 What to Do When 6???
You receive a compliment. What happens? You blush. Deny it. Thank the person. Disagree. Remain quiet.
Can you identify with those sentiments? I found when I was younger that receiving a compliment left me completely bewildered as to what to do or say next? I’m pretty sure that the expression “cat got your tongue” applies to people who don’t know how to take or receive a compliment.
We are all complimented by our parents, relatives, siblings, and other assorted adults who feel that they’re emotionally responsible for your actions and deeds. In giving you a compliment, they feel relief at having done their one or two good deeds for the day. Possibly further up on the ladder to go to heaven?
I know that receiving a compliment from someone always made me doubt them and then myself. I wasn’t sure they really meant the compliment just given to me. They said it to make themselves feel better. It gave them something nice to say to me. After all, if they really thought that way about me, they would treat be better? Differently? Fellow Friend? Confidant? The list is endless.
The next time someone compliments you, all you need to say is “Thank you.” You need not add anything else to the conversation. You’ve answered them politely and convincingly that their compliment made your day.
5.13.15 What To Do When 5???
Criticism, it’s what makes the world go round. Practice makes perfect. How many times has something you’ve done, said, written drew in criticism? And your gut reaction? “How dare they? It’s a work in progress!”
That criticism punches you in the gut. Yet, we need to hear from people who have expertise of their own. We need to hear from people who can point out what we did wrong so we can correct it.
In the five months this website been up, I received my first criticism other than about SEO. You know what? I’m going to research what the person suggested and try to make amends. If you can’t honor the people who spend time with you–on your website–or with you personally, then you’re doomed to keep repeating the same mistakes all over again.
I’m not an expert on putting a website together. There are some detail that I have no control over where the written words are placed. I do the best that I can. If any of you readers are out there, perhaps you can suggest how I can fix some of these glaring errors that you feel require correction. It’s one thing to point out website errors, but another problem entirely if one doesn’t know how to go about correcting it.
You see, criticism works both ways. The person who just pointed out what’s wrong with you or your website for example, and the person who needs to make the corrections. However, if not enough information is freely exchanged or targeted content is not suggested on how one should go about and fix or correct it, then it becomes a mute point.
I always feel that the criticizer runs the risk of becoming responsible for the words they’ve used to correct someone. It’s a lot easier pointing out ones transactions than it is to repair whatever that particular person has done.
The next time you make a statement that criticizes someone, try and have some kind of support content that can justify that goof and suggest that this person kindly takes a look. I’ve had several readers already do that by providing me with additional information on how to correct my mistakes. It’s greatly appreciated. It tells me that someone generally cares about how well this particular website is doing and wants to help me make it a better place to listen and to visit.
Thank you one and all!!!
5.12.15 What Do You Do When 4???
What do you do when you enter a room full of unknown people? Gag reflex? Ears redden? Parched mouth? Underarm deodorizer doesn’t work, and you’re sweating like a hog? Look for a friendly face?
Wait! Before you slip into your familiar emotional behavior, take a deep breath. Plaster a smile on your face for the whole human race. Quicken your footsteps and make a beeline for the first person you see that is stage-struck. You know the one(s) I mean. the ones who are shy, reticent, uneasy, and stand by themselves in a corner, in the middle of the room, near a wall and become invisible. Approach them with a smile and hand stretched out. And say, I’m (fill in the blank), and this is my first time ever doing this. Isn’t it grand.
Even though inside your insides quake, make your voice strong and assured. Trust me. This will break the ice — invade the silence and if done right, that new person will relax and enjoy themselves as much as you’re going to enjoy yourself.
I remember the first time I discovered my ‘airplane mode.’ What’s an airplane mode? It’s when you put on a different personality or act differently than your usual normal shy and stiff self. It’s called play acting, and it works. You are no longer the incompetent one who doesn’t know how to speak or carry a conversation. Suddenly, you’re Ms. Business, Mr. Business, Miss Expert, whatever type of name you want to associate with. It works. You no longer are the person who just walked into the room. You’re role playing. Go forth young man…Go forth young women…and conquer the world. It’s there for the taking.
5.11.15 What Do You Do When 3???
It’s the day after celebrating Mother’s Day. What do you do when you put your foot in your mouth? Is that your Uh-Oh moment. Does your face burn? Bright red? Orange? Do you wish the floor would swallow you whole and alive?
What do you do depends on how and why you put your foot in there in the first place? Do you remember the path you took that landed you in this awkward position? People in general don’t mean to become the town clown or the embarrassed recipient of the wrong words that come out of your mouth.
A good cure is remember the golden rule: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.” If you find that rule too confining or too reminiscent of what your parents would say, another golden rule of mine is: “Unless you have something of GREAT VALUE to add to the conversation, then say nothing at all. After all, it’s one person’s opinion, objection, argument, or disagreement that was just said.
I’ve found that people don’t think ahead. That whatever comes out of their mouth blossoms without any thought or consideration at how it may sound to someone else. In fact, people say what they’re thinking without any rhyme or reason to it.
So, the next time you do a faux pas, try and think through the consequences of what you just said. If you don’t want to be the court fool, then think before you speak. Analyze what point you’re trying to get across without insulting, antagonizing, or foolishly say something that you don’t mean. That way you won’t spend your life apologizing for your verbal assaults that were meant to be understanding, sympathetic, or supportive.
5.10.15 What Do You Do When 2???
Happy Mother’s Day! It’s a phrase you hear every year. With a phone call. With a card. With an email. With a present. With whatever feels good for the person who’s delivering the sentiment.
Do we need chocolate? Flowers? Jewelry? A new vacuum cleaner? Or is every day giving acceptable as well?
Who would’ve thought to ask such a question? And, yet it makes perfect sense to my spouse. He tells me that he gives all year long. Why should he be pressured into giving something that he doesn’t really need to give?
In theory, I agree with him. In practice, I don’t. Some things are expected. Some things are unexpected. I would appreciate receiving the unexpected sometimes. Wouldn’t you?
5.09.15 What Do You Do When???
A series of blogs on ‘what do you do when’? To fill in the first blank. What do you do when life lets you down?
Ever get that feeling? When suddenly nothing is going right. Even though you followed the steps to achieve success — achieve goals — achieve your worth? It seems like the world has fallen flat around you. Nothing seems to work. You feel drained. Emotionally let down. Anger boils to the surface. The smile is not there. You’ve got ‘I don’t care blue?’
We’ve all been there. Building up to the latest accomplishment in your life. And then, Wham, Bam, it doesn’t take off. If falls flat. The air is let out of your tires.
What to do? What to do? First things first. Take a deep breath and let it ALL hang out. Go on. Take a deep breath. HOLD IT. HOLD IT. HOLD IT. Force it out. Let everything fall away from you. Get the garbage pail. Find the toilet. Get the dust bin and mop. Get it all out.
Now, stand in front of a mirror. What do you see? Go on. Take a good look! What do you see? You, yourself, and you. No one else. No one is going to come along on a white horse and sweep up this emotional mess — this pity party — unless you’ve elected to do it.
Take a good look. Count to ten. Open one eye. Open the other eye. You’re still standing. No bolt of lighting struck you. The typhoon is still in the other part of the Pacific or Atlantic. Give yourself a break. Pick up the pieces. Start over again. This time build a stronger foundation.
No shortcuts. Make sure the foundation is strong enough to survive emotional cracks, bruising, and cuts. Ready? Pace yourself. This time life won’t let you down—unless you let yourself down first.
5.08.15 Fearless Heart: How the Courage to Be compassionate Can Transform Our Lives, by Dr. Thupten Jinpa
On Thursday, I interviewed Dr. Thupten Jinpa. He wrote a non-fiction book, “A Fearless Heart,” How the Courage to Be Compassionate Can Transform Our Lives. I selected Dr. Jinpa because humanity seems to have left its compassion somewhere on the road. People are compassionate, but they seem to pick the time and place for it.
Compassion doesn’t seem to rule the heart, although there are ‘make a difference’ moments that does gladden the heart. Individuals who see a particular need, rise to the occasion, and make a difference to another individual who might or might not have someone to reach out to them. It’s not a full-blown effect. These individuals can’t help the world at large, but these individuals have a heart, have a need, a feeling to reach out and make someone else’s life bearable and livable.
Kuddos to them. I hope people will go out and buy Dr. Jinpa’s book. Not because I interviewed him, but because what he says simply is that compassion is a much needed commodity that people must indulge in if they want to make the world a better place to live. And let’s face it, without compassion where does that leave humanity on the scale of evolution?
Think about it.
5.7.15 Lessons Learned from Obituary Writer, Heather Lende
I had the pleasure of interviewing Heather Lende on Tuesday, May 5th. I chose to interview Heather because of what she wrote on: obituaries. Ms. Lende wrote a book, FIND THE GOOD. In FIND THE GOOD, Heather shares what she learned from people who have passed away.
Heather Lende lives in Alaska; an extreme environment state. I visited Alaska several years ago and loved it. But like Manhattan and some other cities I love, Alaska is for the young, the young-at-heart, and sturdy survival types. Thirty years ago I would’ve fit into any one of those categories. Today, it’s another matter.
However, through writing on obituaries, Ms. Lende learned several things about herself and about humanity at large. She discovered the good in the people around us. Heather feels that the world needs more positives in the world. That people should remember the good, and not dwell on the bad. How to draw from life the experiences and wisdom that one needs to live a fulfilling life and not worry about stuff that one has no control over.
In FIND THE GOOD, Heather is gently reminding us that ‘life is what one makes of it.’
5.5.16 My apologies
It’s been several days since I last wrote on the blog. My apologies. Time seems to get away from me if I’m not actively paying attention. I wonder why that is.
On some days, when I’ve got nothing to do, I can sit and watch the minute hand on the clock drag by. I can literally count the seconds, then check my clock or watch again. Time stands still.
Then there are other days when the day gets so hectic, I literally forget to look at my watch or watch the clock and time seems to fly. In what seems a space of five minutes, one hour passes. When I look up again from my work, another hour has gone by in record time.
I often wonder. Why is that? I’m pretty sure that we all know the answer. When you don’t want time to march by, it does. When you’ve got plenty of time on your hands, it doesn’t. What’s the sense of that?
It’s too bad humans can’t regulate what the clock will and will not do. That way, some people could speed up their time — if they like while other people could slow their time down, so they can get extra hours that they so obviously needed!
4.30.15 Often Wonder….
Hmm, I often wonder what it will take to wake people up from their self-imposed daydreams of what America is to the realty that’s facing them. I don’t get the newest generation of kids. They were brought up with no sacrifices, no loss of rights (civil or personal), no nothing as far as I can see.
Yet the underbelly of the beast is still there for those folks who want to truly see without their rose-colored glasses on. Right now, these newest members of our American society are getting a taste of the underbelly. Those citizens who are still being discriminated against, where the law singles them out, and their so-called chosen and duly voted in representatives turn their heads and hearts away from them.
Why is that, I wonder? We’re considered the greatest nation in the world, but we don’t act like that. Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. I’m really not surprised that’s not happening with this present generation.
Society states that Actions are louder than words. Our words have fallen short. Our American people don’t act as examples for the rest of the world to follow. Instead, we as a nation, take shortcuts and pay lip service to what previous generations have worked so hard to put into place.
Think about it. What will it take, you wonder, to make our country whole and regain our self-respect again?
4.28.15 Interview with John W. Whitehead, Constitutional Attorney, Author of “Battlefield America.”
On 4.27.15, I interviewed John W. Whitehead, Constitutional attorney who wrote a book called Battlefield America. In the book, Mr. Whitehead demonstrates how citizens’ rights are violated on a daily basis. He has filed suits in many similar cases.
Mr. Whitehead states that everything in the USA has turned its back on citizens’ civil and personal rights. He states “free speech, religious expression, privacy, due process, bodily integrity, the sanctity of human life, the sovereignty of the family, individuality, the right to a fair defense, protection against police abuses, representative government, private property, human rights – the very ideals that once made this nation great – have become casualties of a politically correct, misguided, materialistic, and amoral militaristic culture.
He believes that our country has purposely and soulessly has turned into a police state where individuals no longer matter and that the cell-phone and text messaging mentality has taken over our lives and rules within this technological compound and society.
Listen to the interview, Lillian Cauldwell and add your voice via the comment section or direction email: firstname.lastname@example.org.
4/27/15 House Sales
It’s finally happened. The market is red hot for those wanting to sell their home without the aide of a statue. I never thought it would happen. Last year at about this time selling a home was still next to impossible. The houses wouldn’t see for whatever the reason. But this year, it’s different. Inventory is low. People got money. Sellers receive three to six offers on their home. People are fighting to buy homes.
When we first heard the news that the Detroit home market was hot, we got excited. Two years ago , we tried selling our house and received very few nibbles. This year, 2015, is going to be different. Hopefully we can sell the house and get out of MI before the cold weather commences.
Of course, it’s still kind of cold here anyway. Temperatures still plunging to 27 degrees at night. We haven’t planted the garden because the seedlings would freeze. And yes, we’re planting tomatoes for the incoming buyers of our house so they have a crop to bring in before the snow flies.
Before selling your home, make sure you hook up with a reputable real estate person. Also make sure that you clean your house from top to bottom. Get someone in to help you stage the house so it looks appealing to incoming home buyers. Put everything away that doesn’t need to be inside the house, especially extra furniture. Rent a storage locker and get the stuff stored so the house looks less crowded.
Put out clean towels and arrange them so they look nested, one on top of another. Put bedspreads on top of the beds. Store extra pillows in the closet. Make sure everything is neatly piled in your closet. You don’t want your clothing or towels or even pillows attack possible home buyers.
Make sure all extra appliances are put away. This includes toasters, toaster ovens, pots & pans, garbage can, knife holders, anything that might detract from your house. Go over with your real estate person what should remain on the counter and what should be stored.
Once everything is finished, take pictures, before and after. Make sure your front and back yard are cleaned as well. People do look for themselves to make sure the house is presentable inside and outside.
Once, you’re finished, put your house on the market and sent out positive thoughts. That way you’ll receive several offers on the house and hopefully move on to your next house, neighborhood, and moving conquest.
4.24.15 Doctors Know Best…At Least Some of them Do.
I went to the doctor today for a six month check-up. I didn’t think much about it cause truth be known, I don’t like seeing doctors. They’re not in the business of helping me any with my chronic illness. Let’s just say, it’s one of those illnesses that after the first several battles, the rest of the time, aches, pains, and assorted sleepiness get worse as time drifts on.
On this particular day, I learned a few things that I would like to pass on to the older crowd. The younger crowd ought to listen up as well. As their bodies aged, these things will start happen to them. It can’t be helped. It’s called growing older, not younger.
The first thing to go is your weight. You put on weight with the amount of food you eat. For example, yesterday was my hubby’s birthday. So for that day only, I went off my diet and celebrated with him. Bad choice. I put on 2 pounds yesterday just by eating a stuffed pastry with vanilla ice cream and chocolate-butterscotch hot sauce. When I got home, I added insult to injury by consuming six strawberry licorice whips and a quarter cup each of butterscotch and carob chips. Two pounds. I counted them. So, today, I’ve got to be good. In fact, I have to be good for the next two weeks. It just ain’t fair.
The second thingy I learned was that cancer goes hand in hand with inflammation. So, if you’ve got any type of inflammation, word to the wise. Cancer is going to plague your body. I know it’s not what you want to hear. Well, hear it anyway, and take heed.
The third thingy I learned is that snoring is bad for you. It can also make you stay awake. Now, it was suggested that I go to the sleep apena clinic so they can do a study on me. A study to see how they can help me. I thought that’s what those breath strip were for, but then again what do I know.
Also, instead of getting a shot in the knee, I now do three sets of leg exercises to strengthen the thigh muscle which in turn strengthens the knee. That way the knee doesn’t come out of its socket.
Oh, there’s way more that I can share with you. Today, I’m only giving you all a taste of what the new forty looks like so you too can become prepared for when you slip into that golden age of boomers.
4.23.15 Like versus Love – One Woman’s Opinion
How many times you’ve heard someone tell you, “I love you man!” In a quieter voice, they then tell you, “I don’t like you.”
Is there a difference? You betcha! Liking. Hating. Loving. Casual. Intense. These are all different, and you’d better learn to tell the difference before someone (not you or a close friend) get hurt so bad that nothing can ever repair the damage.
I hear you. You’re laughing. You don’t believe me. Well, believe this. I’ve got an X-brother. Why X? Because he earned it the old-fashioned way – greed, jealousy, indifference, nastiness, pure evil. He treated our mother callously and he didn’t care. My brother told both of our parents: “You made your beds. Now go lie in it.”
Just nice, since these same people paid out for an education in college and two years abroad in London, England (with wife) so he could obtain his Masters from The London School of Economics. I haven’t forgotten what he did. Do I like him? Hell No! Do I love him? Yes, I love him, but definitely don’t like him and his family.
You’re probably asking how can one person love and dislike at the same time? Remember that adage? “You can’t help who gave birth to you?” Well, the same thing applies to siblings. I’ve heard of other sisters and brothers who have said the same thing to me when they thought I wasn’t really paying attention or listening to what they’re saying. Inevitably, I’m always told later, “If you say anything about what I just told you, I’ll deny everything.”
Deny away. You don’t have to like and love equally. You can love without liking and vice versa. Is there a way around this mess? It takes two to tango. If the person is one you trust with your life (guarding your back) then it’s pretty easy for you to like them a little. However, if you feel that having eyes in the back of your head would help, then you’ve got a problem.
I must admit there are several people that I love very much, but I don’t like because of their attitude, behavior, and sentiment toward me. I don’t have to ask for a bullet list from them. I’ve found over the years that the only time they want to speak with me, re-connect with me, or just plain show up in my life, that these people are not to be trusted. They’ve got an agenda. They’ve got a plan. There’s nothing lovable or likeable about them. Sometimes, I let them in warily. Other times, I discourage them totally. Who needs that kind of drama in their life?
Drama kills. It’s called stress. Stress makes you sick in mind, body, and spirit.
The next time you’re trying to decide, making a choice, or just up in the air, remember, it’s okay. You don’t have to like a person to love them. In fact, it’s a whole lot easier if you just love them, and leave him the hell alone!
4.22.15 Sometimes Love Isn’t Enough
I read a book the other week, a novel, set during the late 1800’s. I sometimes read novels that have a slight romance feel to it. In this novel, two people went mountain climbing in Africa. One was a man and his companion was female.
While climbing the mountain, they became careless, and the lady fell breaking her leg with extreme cuts and bruises. He got her off the mountain and took her to a hospital. At the hospital, the doctor told the man that the lady’s leg must be amputated. It was.
This lady was adventurous and loved climbing, sailing, and taking exploring. To loose her leg was a catastrophe. She implored the man (boyfriend) that she rather die than be without the use of one of her legs. Because he loved her, the leg was amputated. Because she loved him, she left him and went on with her life without him.
What’s the point of this retelling?
Sometimes love isn’t enough to conquer the ills and complications that life throws at you. Sometimes, you can love someone so much that it hurts. It’s that hurt that tears us apart and we each go our separate ways.
Most people love their spouses. Would do anything for them and with them at the drop of a hat. However, love doesn’t always conquers all. It takes hostages. It takes prisoners. It destroys with a single blow. It separates those who we love, but can’t live with.
Love is a wonderful emotion. It binds us to other people and makes possible what many fear would never happen. But, sometimes love can’t help those who need or want it. Sometimes loving someone just isn’t enough if they’re hurting from a chronic illness, suffering pain from a disease that keeps ravaging the system, or tears apart a person’s dignity.
Love is a catalyst that reaches out between people and makes them feel invincible as a team. However, in loving, we have to let go. No matter how we feel, love can become incomplete, lacking, and can’t supply the necessary link that many people feel is the basis for life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
4.21.15 Ladies, Raise Your Hands
How many of you are tomboys? Raise your hands. Here’s a twist. How many of you are tom-girls? Yeah, I thought so.
Why is it in American society if you’re a tomboy you’ve got two strikes against you? I’m a tomboy. And probably will be until I die. Is that a crime?
In today’s society, I guess the stigma isn’t as bad as it use to be, but it still lurks under the surface. No, I still have trouble putting nail polish on my fingers. I let my granddaughters do it for me. They’re so much better at it. Why? Because they’re girlie girls and like it. At the same time, they’re also a mixture of tomboyism. How? They enjoy running outside. They enjoy baseball, soccer, gymnastics, ice skating, hockey, biking, all the traditional stuff that once was played or practiced by boys.
Are they identified as tomboys? Or as girlie girls. Not only do they put on nail polish better than I do, they can polish my toenails as well without coloring outside of the nails. Neat stuff, huh?
I enjoyed playing boy sports. I enjoyed canoeing, rock climbing, roller skating, sailing, snorkeling, all the stuff that only men do. Back in the 50’s it set me apart from the frivolous girls. I wasn’t interested in shoes, dresses, skirts, blouses, make-up (still have trouble with mascara), and all the other thingies that girls enjoyed doing.
Guess what? In the long scheme of things, it just doesn’t matter. Except for the gender inequality. Apparently, it’s okay for boys to act one way, but girls another. That’s another topic for another time.
Tomboy, and proud of it!!
4.19.15 He who has not a good memory should never take upon him the trade of lying – Montaigne
Most pleasures, like flowers, when gathered, die. Young.
Happy Sunday everyone!
4-18.15 Arguing is Communicating
When I first got married, my spouse and I did a lot of arguing. Concerned, my teen asked me to stop fighting with my new husband. I guess he thought the marriage would end in divorce. It didn’t.
However, in some marriages, arguing can certainly become a type of communicating with your loved one. It’s not intentional. You don’t get out of bed in the morning and plan on arguing with your spouse. It just happens.
Certainly, when we argued, I had my spouse’s attention. In face, some of the time he even listened to what I was saying instead of ignoring me, saying uh huh, or just not hearing what I was saying. Sometimes I would trip him up with my argument to make sure he was listening to me. You never know with a guy. And, of course, my hubby would say, you never know with a gal.
However, you might want to talk to your kids about how and your spouse talk to each other in case they might get the wrong impression. Everyone in my family has their own way of being heard. From screaming to yelling and including all three of their teen’s names, First name, Second Name, and Three name. We’ve all been there. We all can relate to that.
Then, there’s the arguing or sake of arguing just for the fun of it, to get your spouse’s attention, or worse, it’s a form of speech between the two of you. In my case, it works out okay. I find that my spouse tells me he starts an argument with me just to see how I will respond to a certain tone, a certain point-of-view or some word he’s trying out on me, just to make sure I’m paying attention to him.
Rule of thumb. Make sure everyone knows what those rules are because arguments are differences of opinion. And sometimes, they can get out of hand. And lead to real damage between you and your spouse and you and your kids.
4.17.15 Stacey Hall, Chi-to-be
I interviewed Stacy Hall today. She wrote a book called Chi-to-be and literally blew the cobwebs from my brain. I have heard content from other people before her talking about energy levels, but Ms. Hall made it abundantly clear that it in fact works.
Energy levels are not a new thing. Been around for years, yet no one explained it quite like Stacey. Her points came across crisp and clear. Her words produced imagery in my mind that I haven’t addressed in years.
For example, Ms. Hall spoke about cresting to get over a block. A block is a thing that prevents you from obtaining your intention and goal. I told Stacey that when I learned how to swim in the ocean, my father gave me some advice. He told me that when a big wave came along to rise up and meet the crest of the wave head on — above it –. That way I wouldn’t succumb to the force of the wave and be dragged under and out to sea. It would take me inside the swell of the wave — calmer water.
Stacey loved the imagery, and I loved that I finally understood what she was telling me. I also learned a whole different vocabulary in describing how I wanted to reach my goals. Old-fashioned words like discipline, need, hope, those words wouldn’t help any one to achieve their goals, their desires.
Bold words like choice, intentions, goals, focus, planting seeds, taking one choice at a time and seeing it through to its conclusion, that would shape my future.
In fact, the whole interview rather shook me up. I think that’s what Stacey Hall intended to do. Shake me up and let me see that the choice was mine to make. Either to play the victim or girdle my knees and sally forth in accomplishing what I intended to do with the rest of my life, and not allow society, culture, or my parent’s choices rule my destiny.
One other book that Stacey Hall recommended was “Power versus Force.” When I find out the author’s name, I’ll add it here.
4.16.15 I Hear Voices Inside My Head
What happens when a person hears voices in their heads or speaks to someone who isn’t visibly at their side? Are these individuals crazy, self-delusional or just plain nuts? Shall we call for the men in the white jackets and their overlarge fish nets?
Depending on who you speak with, the answers are often contradictory. For a young child to have an ‘imaginary friend’ that’s understandable. It’s called a great imagination. However, as that child ages, society no longer calls it imagination, but something else. Something that’s unspeakable and unforgivable. That there’s something quite wrong with that child.
When an adult tells you, most likely, a man or woman of God, tell you that God spoke to them, society explains it as a miracle or a special gift. If non religious people tell of a conversation with God, then they’re a danger to society, to themselves, their children, families, friends, and relatives. Or they’re off their bonkers.
When a spiritual person says an angel speaks to them inside or outside of their head, society shakes their heads, politely laughs, and asks. “Do you believe that?” Well, the person who is hearing that voice certainly hears it. Why should they lie?
And, that’s the problem. When does hearing, speaking, and seeing someone not there become a problem for the community, family, or neighborhood. I’ve often interviewed individuals who have said they have heard voices telling them to write this. “In the Ghost and Mrs. Muir,” a very old movie about a single mother and her daughter, a ghostly sea captain tells this lady his sea adventures. She writes them down, sells the book, and keeps herself and her child safe from being put into the poorhouse.
Another person told me an angel dictated to her about the angel’s experience with life as she knew it in serving her Lord. That person honestly believed, and sincerely heard that voice speak to her of what mankind needs to know in order to have a fulfilling life. Is it my job to question her or accept what she just explained to me as God’s truth.
That’s the problem for many.
Who to believe?
I, for one, believed that an angel spoke to her. I have never had an angel speak to me, but then again, I hear voices call out to me in the middle of the night while I sleep.
I also hear voices speak to me when I’m in doubt. I call that voice my Father Thomas voice, because I doubt. Get it? It’s a stretch, but who’s to know what is real and what is not?
Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.
4.15.15 Carl Richards, The One-Page Financial Plan or A simple way to be smart about money – Interview with Lillian Cauldwell
I interviewed an author today, Carl Richards who wrote a book about a taboo and unmentionable topic. Or should I say one of the fab four. Death. Religion. Finances. Estate Planning. It’s all lumped into one neat and solid package. The kind of information and content that wise adults and parents avoid discussing at all times with their kids, relatives, friends, and family.
I’m not particularly sure why. Certainly when I brought up my child, I gave him choices at a young age. Nothing life threatening. Something for him to think about. What was more important for him to buy at that particular time? Something for the long run to treasure or instant gratification with food. Yup, he picked the food, but at four years-old, that isn’t a life vrs. death decision.
Of course, the older you get, when you become an adult, the odds are a little more stacked against you on money planning and money decisions.
In The One-Page Financial Plan, Mr. Richards tells you step by step on how to divvy up your money, plan a budget and implement it and all the other devil details that one avoids.
I’ve found out for myself that by just putting $25 a month into a bank savings plan saved me big time when I had that operation that made it possible for me to walk without crippling pain. Who knew?
I also save money. All the time. Enough money to pay for my son’s wedding reception a year later with alcoholic drinks. The cost ran $3,000. So, I went without. It was no big deal. My son’s reception was a big deal. So I saved for him and his wife.
I put money away for my grandchildren, all three of them. It’s not a significant sum now, but give me 18 more years and I’m sure their nest eggs will grown. It’s the little things that count, yes?
I budget all the time. I make choices on what I really need versus what would be nice versus will I be running in the street naked? Hasn’t happened yet.
Go out and buy the book. No, I don’t get anything from Mr. Richards from promoting his book. But if you’re like the rest of the US population, you probably could use some help in constructing an One-Page Financial Plan.
P.S.: Your grandkids will thank you. Trust me on this!
4.14.15 One of Those Days
Ever had one of those days when everything that could possibly go wrong, go wrong. It gets so bad that your eyes well up with tears. Your scalp itches unmercifully, and your stomach goes on strike. Where you keep blowing your nose, but your nostrils remain stuff. And no matter what kind of pep talk you give yourself, you really feel like flying the Jolly Roger and say the heck with it?
Well, my friends, I have had one of those days. I don’t whether to cry, scream, punch the wall, or just hang it up and surrender to Murphy’s Law. Because we all know that if something can go wrong on any given day, it will. And, if we give ourselves permission we can howl along with dogs at midnight when the full moon is up in that dam sky.
Life gets so frustrating at times. No matter how many plans we make. No matter how we dot our i’s or cross our t’s something or someone is out to get us and we miserable humans better the knack of going with the flow or we all will wind up in the asylum.
Such a day. Modern technology should be helping people get ahead in this world. Not doom them. Technology should be easily learned, not relearned every single time you need it for another chore or task. Why is it so difficult for some people to learn it while others are constantly relearning it every time they need it for a project?
Do you know how unsettling it is to teach the same stuff over and over again with little or minimum results? GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. I’m sure you’ve gotten the message as well.
Please, if you don’t remember how to do something, ask someone who has the tech savvy mind to sit down and reteach it to you until you scream uncle. The adage, I’m sorry. Technology and I don’t get along doesn’t really help the person who’s going to speak to you on the other end of the line. If you don’t know how to do a proper procedure, go to the website where there are directions and start self teaching yourself. Hey, everyone does selfies with iphones. Why can’t people do self-teachies to themselves so they know how to handle the technology when called upon to use it.
Take time to find out how to do things. I’ve got bad news for all of you. Technology is going to become more difficult and rapid as the years roll along. Which means by 2020, if you don’t k now how to do something with technology, you’re in hot shit as my son once told me.
Hot shit or not. Take responsibility for yourself and start teaching yourself how to function with the given technological revolution that’s going on. Don’t get left behind. This is one industrial revolution that you can’t afford to sit out!
4.13.15 The Grass is Always Greener – May Be!
All my life I’ve heard comments. ‘The Grass is Always Greener. ‘ May Be, but before you jump that fence, take the road not trodded on, or use that shortcut that looks so tempting, remember this. ‘A kiss is but a kiss.’ Meaning that look carefully at that greener patch and take care. There may be wilt under that piece of green. There may be some burn-out, the patch is dried, browned, or full of weeds.
Although something can look appealing or even better than what you have, there’s no guarantee that it is. I remember one of the adages my grandmother passed along to me when I finally learned how to listen. She told me that ‘if you don’t take care of the problems or baggage, emotional, physical, or mental, then you’ll bring it with you when you take your giant leap for mankind.
In other words, unless you solve your problems, be it job, family, friends, or relatives, you won’t be any happier where you’ve moved to – on that greener patch of land’ than you are right now.
Individuals have a tendency to bring their problems or baggage with them. You can’t hop that fence to greener pastures if you’re weighed down with problems not yet solved by you.
Yup, I’m afraid you’re the only person that can help themselves solve that particular problem. Remember the classic couch and the shrink sitting to one side listening to the patient spilling his guts. One of the reasons why a shrink just listens is that they want you figure out what went wrong, and then fix it yourself with probing questions from them. Those folk are guiding you along your journey to discover who you are and how you’re going to solve a particular problem so that the next time it happens, you don’t have to go to that shrink and do it all over again.
So, the next time the ‘greener grass’ syndrome snaps its jaws at you or pokes you in the stomach to take heed of it, remember this simple rule. Nothing will ever look good unless you groom yourself first.
Unless you ‘take the bull by the horns’ and do something about you that needs fixing. And, until you do that, no matter how large that green grass looks on the other side of the fence, it won’t do you any good until you heal yourself first.
4.12.15 Spring Has Sprung!
Spring has finally sprung. You can see it in the land, parks, playgrounds, or public property. The green buds are erupting on the new bark trying to catch up from the long blanket of winter.
Even though, at night the temperature soars down to the cooling degrees of 30’s and some low 20’s, the day seem to warm up fast enough. To make up for the darkness of cold and seasonal winds. Yesterday, the winds came through at 35 to 40 miles per hour. Today, it’s almost calm. No tree branches swaying overhead. The green bushes quiet and still as the muddy brown branches on top give way to the new green growth underneath.
Inside the house, Spring has sprung. Windows are opened to allow the cool breeze run through the rooms and air them out. The smells of winter, moth balls, and other stale smells filter out through the opened windows and are whisked away.
I changed out the clothing from winter flannels and wool to spring cotton and lighter blankets. Heavy blankets washed and cleaned, put away with mothballs so that the moths don’t have a festival of material food meal at my expense. Heavy coats are washed in cold water and dried with recycled white sneakers so the rubber soles can water-proof the material and put away for the seasons of spring and summer.
Sandals are taken from the closet along with flip flops. Bathing suits are brought out once again. Cotton sheets grace the bed. Carpets rolled out, hung and beaten with winter dust.
Spring cleaning has certainly changed over the years. Flannel sheets washed and put away. Wool blankets cleaned and put away. Flannel throws washed and put away. The outdoor stuff is all that’s left to do.
Another week has passed. I’m not sure where it went. I’ve been told the older one becomes, the faster times seem to fly. And yet, when I speak to my granddaughters, they complain that time moves too slowly for them. That Saturdays and Sundays rush by like a windstorm, but the rest of the week takes forever to finish and come to the evening.
At home, after school, time doesn’t speed up, but goes from one minute to next as they do their homework. When they go outside to participate in their outside activities, depending on their moods, time extends itself so it seems like the soccer ball is suspended in air and refuses to come back down onto the field.
In gymnastics, each parallel bar, uneven parallel bar, rope jumping, the time just remains as one minute and never budges from that initial minute.
Yet, sometimes, I feel when I don’t have enough to do that time suspends itself in mid air. The clock handles take forever to go around the face, and five minutes doesn’t pass fast enough for me. On other days, I take my eyes off the clock for five seconds, and two hours have already passes me by.
I wish that time would be conformed to the time and that it passes either fast or slow. For now, I find it passes way too fast for me. I wish it would slow down now that I’m getting older. Yet I’m told that time hasn’t shifted. That it’s me who now speeds up how fast the time actually goes.
4.10.15 Thank you One and All!
I want to thank each and every one of you for leaving a message for me about how you feel about PWRN’s blog. I try to provide quality content each and every time. I try to think what I would like to read on a daily basis without being too the obvious all the time. I think I’ve succeeded.
Sometimes, it’s very difficult for us to remember that people who are reading our blogs are our peers. People our age who have the same wisdom and knowledge that we all possess. Sometimes, I think that people forget that everyone learns from their past experiences and tries to apply them the next time that situation repeats itself or comes along almost the same way it came along the first time.
I would like to believe that individuals read blogs to better themselves and their families, relatives, children and friends. That the blogs give them a certain sense of renewal for their lives and the lives around them. That reading anyone’s blog gives that person a sense of purpose. “I knew that. “It’s good know. “Why didn’t I think of that?”
When I read other people’s blogs, a chill runs down my spine. We’re all in this together. Thank you for bringing back memories of where I’ve been, where I’m going, and where I’d like to be in the far future.
4.09.15 What do Adult Children Owe Their Parents?
I saw a caption the other day. On one side was an elderly man. He had brought his phone to a repair shop and asked them to fix it. The phone repair person examined the phone and found nothing wrong with it. He told the old man that nothing was wrong with it. Even though the text was written, I could hear the man’s voice quite plainly. “Then why doesn’t my children call me?”
That made me wonder as well. Why didn’t the man’s children not call him?
Parents that I know, most of them, are always there for their children. For those who are not, their excuses are pretty could. Some are true. Others are not.
I remember when I brought up my children that I never made any promises to them. I usually said, “Well see.” “Maybe.” “Perhaps.”
Why did I say those words? I didn’t want to make a promise I couldn’t keep. I didn’t want to reassure them when I knew I couldn’t make the pain go away. Like you watch the doctor put a needle in their arm. I told my kids, “It’s going to hurt. Hopefully it will make you better or feel better.” I sometimes feel that the child would understand, and that sometime in their future, they would have children have their own in the same type of situation.
When I became an adult, I put away my childish things. I even put away the jealousy I felt when I realized that my brother was more loved – more taken care of than I was. It’s the way the world is. Boys versus girls. But, I didn’t take that loss of affection and made it part of my parent’s mistakes. I still called them because I felt in their own way, they still loved me, even if it wasn’t a fair love.
When the time came for me leave home, I left home. Yet, I kept in contact because I knew that their life had shortened. Their friends were moving away to senior living centers or moving back with their children. Or dying. I knew that my parents now appreciated me a bit more than they did before. I tried being a good daughter and I called home to let them know they were missed and loved.
Yet, all too often, I hear adult kids tell me “My parents made their bed. They’ve got to lie in it.” or “I don’t owe my parents a thing.”
And, inside I cringe. Because that’s not true. We all owe someone the dignity of memory, of life, of giving, and of being there if only for a few seconds. Seconds are precious. Picking up a phone today is a lot more simpler than it was a decade ago. And, one can always text or even send an email.
I don’t think that it takes one minute more to remember what that particular parent did for us while we were growing up. In fact, many kids counted on the fact that their parents were there for them 24/7. And, we should remember that. Our parents always had our backs. We should always have theirs even if it’s just a few seconds.
In the end, when we grow old and alone, we’ll want that as well. That call from one of our children to let us know that they still have our backs even though we have now grown old and alone.
4.08.15 The Hanging Baskets – by Lillian Cauldwell
I finally went in and had my mammogram this morning. Funny, it wasn’t as painful this year as it was two years ago. I’m not sure if I can attribute to being two years older than the last time. My upper chest has toughen up or for once, I got a technician who not only knew what she was doing, but was efficient and a no-nonsense sort of person. In fact, she shared with me what one of clients told her about her breasts after they fell. She referred to them as the hanging baskets.
I immediately thought of the hanging baskets of Babylon which were tiered roofs of flowers hanging from incredible heights.
When a person ages, their skin tone and muscles sag. On The Golden Girls, the actresses made fun of themselves all the time about ‘gravity’ shifting their different beauty characteristics. For example, Blanche held up a mirror and bent backwards so her breasts and cheeks wouldn’t sag. Of course, I was highly entertained when she did this, but now I’m not so sure.
Not only does your skin loose its firmness, but all sorts of body aches accompany your daily routine from getting up in the morning, walking outside or inside, and even grasping your silverware while eating. I’ve found that both my husband and I drop stuff from our hands more easily. My eyes water all the time whether the wind blows or not. My nose drips whether I drink milk, coffee, or take a walk in the park.
My elbows squeak and joint pains accompany them when I bend them. My toes go into different positions and hold their poises. My fingers numb out even when the temperature is above 60.
Not all the changes in an ageing body is that apparent. Some of them seem to sneak up on you. Like skin tags, blemishes, rough spots on your neck and face. They turned dark brown, crack, shed, and then renew the cycle. It’s enough to make a grown person cry.
I’m sure there’s beauty in ageing old gracefully, but so far I haven’t seen much proof of it. So, ladies, gentleman, and kids of all ages, enjoy yourself while you’re young cuz you never know what’s lurking just beneath your skin’s surface.
4/06/15 Change is in the air!
PWRNetwork is going to have a make-over. Change is in the air. Starting 4/27, PWRN is undergoing a series of new programming that will be richer and more gratifying that what is being done now.
You can become part of this change. Let your voices be heard. Let us know what type of programming you want to hear. That no other internet talk radio station is doing. You feel that will bring PWRN the recognition that will help all of us achieve the successes and goals that we deserve.
So, mark you calendars. Write down your thoughts and let’s get going. Spring cleaning is on its way!
4.05.15 Another Day Has Passed
It really is interesting to note the passage of time and find that other people see time differently from you. This morning I had a 10 a.m. appointment with someone from the office. I received a phone call from her early. Too early for our appointment.
She was in a hurry. Her friend’s child almost died on the hospital table from surgery. Her friend was upset and wanted my appointment to come pick her up and take her to the hospital. I couldn’t say No. To me, health, family and friends are the most important allies in life. They are more important than anything in the world.
Life is precious. We are constantly reminded of it. Yet sometimes I don’t think we as a culture or as a society really appreciate what it means to be alive every day with all of our limbs intact, our eyes seeing and blinking, and sitting down at the table with our friends, family, or relatives.
I have another friend who passed away last week. No warning. I won’t say she was in the best of health, but she wasn’t in the worst of health either. She suddenly died in her sleep which caught all of her friends, me included, shell shocked.
We were upset that she went so fast, so unnoticed that we couldn’t quite comprehend how or why she died. Passed on the torch to her next living relative.
This person has three children, two of whom live their own lives and don’t really care to be involved with their mother’s life ever again. Kind of wants to make you cry or grieve even before that individual, that mother, passes.
Her one remaining son, her youngest stuck by her through thick and thin. And, yet, even he was caught off guard. There was no warning before she passed away. Nothing.
So, the next time you have plenty of time on your hands, take a good look around and yes, count your blessings. Because one day, it might happen to you. Suddenly taken off guard when someone you love, you cherish almost dies. Or you, feeling sprite and healthy you suddenly take a turn for the worse, and then pop, you’re gone like finger snapping or the door shutting in a sudden wind.
4.04.15 Birthday today. Taking day off.
Blood moon tonight. Total eclipse of the moon. A fitting present for a grand ole birthday.
Happy birthday to me
I belong in a tree
Hope to fly some day
Without anyone having much to say!
Whoa! I’m a poet and
don’t I know it?
my feet are such Long Fellow!
4/03/15 Mark Jarrett, Ph.D, “The Contress of Vienna and Its Legacy
Today, I interviewed Mark Jarrett, Ph.D. studied at Columbia University (BA), the London School of Economics (MA), and Stanford University, where he received a Ph.D. in European history, and was the recipient of th eDavid and Christina Phelps Harris Fellowship.
Why did I interview Dr. Jarrett? Because history seems to be losing its grip on our younger generation. When I went to school on the back of a T-Rex holding an umbrella to keep the sun off my face, we had to memorize dates, names, and battles for all of our history exams. We had to fill out a blank map of Europe and the United States, and put in the appropriate spots all the countries, states, and capitol cities. That’s the kind of schooling we got in the 50’s.
I don’t know what they’re teaching in schools in the 21st century. I do know from my son who is now 40+ that when he was in high school he went to every student he could find and asked them to name the 7 continents of the world. That didn’t work out too well. I understand that Atlantis appeared quite often as the 8th continent.
As for geography, well the students were a bit hazy where certain countries belong. Some of the students didn’t even these countries existed.
Yeah, seriously. In this interview Dr. Jarret explained very thoroughly what The Congress of Vienna was all about, how it came about, and what resulted from that Congress. He then compared the Congress of Vienna to what’s happening now: Iraq, Afghanistan, Ukraine, Iran deal, Israel, Palestine, the list is pretty extensive.
What all of us need to know is why is so important some two hundred years later, and what we can take from this Congress that effectively brought peace to Europe for 100 years.
Two generations. (50 years)
Ten decades. (10 years)
Think about it. In all of our lifetimes. Can peace be achieved through the maneuvers of our present government and the present governments of the world?
What do you think? Respond and receive an audio copy of Dr. Mark Jarrett’s program based on his book, “The C ongress of Vienna and Its Legacy.
Send your feedback and/or response to email@example.com.
4.02.15 Kimberly Snyder, C.N.
I interviewed Kimberly Snyder, C.N. today. She recently wrote a book: “The Beauty Detox Power: Noursih Your Mind and Body for Weight Loss and Discover True Joy.
One of Ms. Snyder’s reviewers, Deepak Chopra had this to say: “The Beauty Detox Power teaches you hot to get to the root of weight issues to create sustained success in many areas of your life.”
What Ms. Chopra was saying is that only you is the one who is in control of your mind. And only you can make the choice to take action and loose weight. There are no silver bullets. There is no magic out there that will get rid of your weight or your problem.
Take me, for example, I’m celebrating my 64th birthday on Saturday, April 4. I’ve been trying to lose 10 pounds for over 6 months. I’ve stuck to my diet. Counted fat grams. Counted calorie grams. Run 2 miles a day on the tread mill. And yup, you guessed it. I still haven’t lost any weight.
I went out and bought Ms. Snyder’s book. Guess what? I’ll let you know what kind of ending I’ll have. Whether it’s powerful or not, but believe this. I’m the only one who can make the change. I’m the only one who can make the choice to do something with my life, good, bad, indifferent.
I’m choosing to loose weight and look out world, I want to live beyond 100. Yup, that’s my goal. My adult son might not be too happy about that, but that’s how I feel. And if Kimberly Snyder’s book can point in me in the right direction, I’m willing to take the gamble and risk all.
It’s that kind of decision I’m making here. I dare anyone else to come and join me. It’s a virtual thing, your mind. You can’t see it, but you sure as hell as know it’s up there sitting on top of neck between your shoulders. Only when you hunch.
So, take the challenge and see what happens. For me, the what happens is when I loose the 15 pounds that I’ve been trying to take off for the past 6 months.
And, if there’s anyone else out there up to challenge, email me and let’s fix a date where we all come together and hang out.
See you on the other side of the scale.
Going down? Anyone?!
4/1/15 April Newsletter – Check it Out!
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I’m not speaking about energy that people generate from their bodies. I’m speaking about the energy that we create for use in our motor vehicles, airplanes, buses, trains, and other assorted entertainment vehicles.
When I grew up in the 50’s, gasoline was quite cheap. It started out at a nickel and then gradually rose as the collective population required it. During the 70’s when my son was young, gasoline got fairly expensive. I still remember the long lines at the gas stations for people to fill up their cars. Sometimes, you waited more than 2 hours to fill your car. There was a quota of how gasoline one could take.
Other types of fuel like kerosene which one used for filling lamps when they had no electricity also went up in price. At the time, although people complained they accepted the hardship because the USA was so dependent on its oil.
As my son grew, so did the price of gasoline which finally stopped at $4 a gallon in some cities and states. The major cities, Chicago, IL, Los Angeles, CA, New York City, NY, and tourist places watched as the price of gasoline shot up very quickly and receded much more slowly.
Now the fate of many — those in the coal mining business are paying a high price for digging the coal that our country depends on for fuel. Yes, no one talks about the coal miners, except those country singers who pulled themselves out of poverty.
Did you know that 75% of the coal miners are again suffering from TB or Black Lung?
Did you know that the people owning the coal companies have specialized companies that hid these statistics from the general public much like other companies that didn’t want the public to know about their dirty laundry?
Did you know that most of the coal veins in this country are almost used up? They’ve been in service since coal striping first began, and now those veins are about played out?
Of course, I can hear you say. What does that matter to me? It should! These men are sacrificing their health so that you have another type of energy to burn in your homes and businesses. These man are sacrificing their lives so you can have a better standard of living. Not them. The companies don’t pay them what their worth even though the marketing community can afford.
Ask yourself, do you really want someone else’s brother, husband, sweetheart, boyfriend to sacrifice their health and life so that you can have a better standard of living? Think about it long and hard. These people make it possible for you to have a comfortable and healthy life.
Isn’t it about time that we can provide for them the same style of living and health that the rest of the populace enjoys?
Let me know. It’s time we started taking action and not rely the major news networks dictate what we hear and what we don’t hear. It’s a them situation. All of the United States should be concerned. Not just the institutions that are trying to break through the owner’s grip on the coal miners, but also on you.
3.30.15 Blustery Days – Lillian Cauldwell
It’s a blustery day today. The clouds are racing in their various shapes and forms. Nose, eyes, mouths one minute, frisky fish and galloping horses the next. The trees bend in the wind while the willows bud on the tree. Their silvery grey flowers swaying every time an extra gust of wind breezes by.
The pond ripples with each puff. First to the left, then to the right and its watery tendrils lap at the sandy shoreline each time extending further inland.
Geese and ducks float on top poking their heads into the surface. Resurfacing with bits of green flotsam as the wind blows them all toward the middle of the pond.
A great day to fly a kite or watch the clouds scuttle overhead. A sunny day to watch the sun peep in and out of the blowing white clouds as they march across the bluest sky.
Sometimes, I wonder who will win this tug of war, the clouds or the intermittent sun that comes and goes at the flick of the breeze. Through the skylight, I feel the sun warm the room that I sit in watching lazily as the patterns shift on the floor mimicking the sun’s light as it splashes inside the room.
Blanket thrown up over my knees, I huddle beneath it. Not quite cold, not warm enough as I wait for the eventual ending of a fine day turn to milky silt as the rain finally comes in to stay and remain the day.
3.29.15 It’s Raining…It’s Pouring
It’s raining, it’s pouring
the old man is snoring
He went to bed
with a bump on his head
and didn’t get up
A ditty from long ago that every school-age child could recite. I grew up with them. And, now, almost 50 years later I still remember them as if I had newly learned them.
Christmas is coming
the goose is getting fat
please put a penny
in an old man’s hat.
Three blind mice.
Three blind mice.
See how they run. See how they run
Cut off by the tail
by the farmer’s wife.
Peas porridge hot
peas porridge cold
peas porridge in the pot
nine days old.
I’m pretty sure that most kids of the 21st century wouldn’t have a clue about hearing them, let alone reciting them 50 years from now. But, maybe they would.
I’m not sure. It’s more than just memories, though. It’s a culture that was given to me by my parents and then given down to my grandchildren. It’s important that this type of culture remains in our society. It helps form the essence of what a child will become and how they will battle their giants and orges in the field of life. Everyone has a private place where they can go and remember the stuff that’s important to them, and only to them. To help them fight the battles that come with growing up, becoming an adult, and then facing life’s responsibilities and experiences on equal footing.
I’m pretty sure that if my parents hadn’t given me that type of armor to protect myself, I would’ve been more exposed to the giants, bullies, and dark things that lurked in the corners, inside the closet, and at school where I stood out from the other lemmings.
One upon a time
a goose drank wine.
A monkey chewed tobacco on the
street car line
The street car broke
and the monkey choked
and they all went to heaven
in a little tin boat.
Good night y’all until tomorrow!
3.27-28.15 Thanks for the Memory –
Many times when people die their families sift through what’s left behind. Usually it’s the physical effects left behind: books, papers, memoirs, clothing, furniture, pictures, for many people that particular list is endless.
However, there’s another kind of stuff left behind, what many people might call “unfinished” business. This can be a relationship between two people or several friends. This can be between men and women who are friends, even though they be married to someone else.
Emotions for someone; loved, liked, paled with, church attendance, phone calls, SKYPE encounters, these too are part of the stuff that is left behind when a person dies. When a person dies unexpectedly, there’s a lot more unfinished business to attend to. Again, it’s the living that face this unfinished business, not the dead.
So what really happens between the remaining family members, siblings, relatives, and grieving friends? I know in many families, the division of passing is already at play. Each wants something of the dead person. A relic or a treasure to remind them of that particular person. Something to hold on to them so they will remember them until their own passing occurs, and the cycle continues.
Some people can’t control their greed, reach out and take long before the will is read. Other people may attend the will reading and leave feeling defeated or betrayed at what or what is not left to them.
Have you ever been put in that type of position? What was the outcome? In some families, the belongings of the dead become a battle field, an emotional take over what their relatives or family believes belongs to them. Aunt So and So wanted me to have it. Uncle Jim or Bob or Ted often mentioned that he would leave it to me in his will.
And, if it’s not written down or put aside for that particular person, how would one know that?
Left behind. Possessions are left behind. Things are left behind.
Emotions are left behind. They belong firmly in your heart where your remembrance of that person remains forever. Things do not replace that person’s love or appreciation of you. Things make it nice to remember, but most people don’t require things to remember their lost ones.
Love. Keeping those people in your heart and in a corner of your mind will remain forever with you. Things perish. Love and emotions do not. They will live forever because they are part of what whom you once loved and still love about that person.
One of PWRN’s hosts, Janet Elaine Smith, died early this morning. She was a good friend, a tireless worker, and one of the best people that I’ve had the pleasure of being friends with. Over 9 years! I spoke with her several times a week, and she could lift my spirits with anything that I said or did not say.
Janet Elaine Smith was also a gifted author. She wrote and published more than 25 books. Janet also knew how to market, promote, and brand her books after she self-published them. How? By teaching herself how to do it. In fact, one of the books she wrote is called Promo Paks. Go out and buy the book in her honor. She tells you exactly how you, the unknown author, can become known and have your book not only sale, but get into the big book stores, newspapers, and magazines that make an author’s name shine brightly among their competitors.
I received the news this morning when a good friend of Janet’s, Reverend Joan Aspen sent me this cryptic text. “Janet went to be with Jesus.” I read the one line over and over. It didn’t sink in. I went to Reverend Aspen’s facebook page and had to ask if she meant that Janet passed away and could she confirm it? I was shell shocked.
I just spoke with Janet two days ago. She sounded just the same: cheerful, funny, sarcastic, and working on the April newsletter for PWRN.
I will miss Janet. Her cheerful voice. Her determination in the face of all things. Her ability to make things go even when she’s facing adversity. I’d like to believe that Janet is in a better place. Where Ivan is now again with her and that he honors and loves her the way he honored, respected, and loved her when they were both alive.
Rest in Peace, Janet Elaine Smith. You’ll be sorely missed!
50’s Kid and Proud of IT! – Lillian Cauldwell
I’m a 50’s kid. And have live a long life (64 April 4).
And, now, I can only stand back and say: “Mom! “GrandMom,” I know exactly how you feel. And, for the first time, in a very long time, I can identify with their feelings, bewilderment, and general thought, “I can’t believe it’s not whatever.”
Generation gaps seem to do that. One minute, everything and everyone is standard pro. You know who you are, where you’re going, and how you’re going to get there. Even the celebrities are a comfort because you recognize them by sight and enjoy their talents whether it’s acting, comedy, film, or music.
But, now all that is changed. I don’t recognize the actors. They’re all younger than me. And, guess what? I finally understand what my grandmother and mother were saying in their respective times. “If we did that, we be five feet under.” “How do they get away with that kind of behavior?” “Where do they go shopping? They look like sugar-honey-ice-tea.” “And, if they keep saying that word as a normal, ordinary and common word, what happens to the shock value? It’s not there any more.”
Am I guilty of old age? It would seem so. The only actors I can recognize come from the 60’s. Yes, I’m an original trekkie way before Star Trek become a house-hold world. Yes, I’m guilty. I remember Gilligan’s Island and The Mary Taylor Moore Show. Heck, I go back to The Gary Moore Show, Ed Sullivan, and Follow the bouncing ball when everyone sung at home while they sang on the black and white screen.
So, milliniumers, watch out because some time in your future, you, too, will lean back and then peer at the screen and say, “Who the hell is that?”
What the Animals Tell Me with Flash Silvermoon every Wed 8:30-9 pm est http://22.214.171.124/
What the Animals Tell Me with Flash Silvermoon every Wed 8:30-9 pm est AIRING LIVE Wednesday March 25,2015 @ 8:30 p.m. Eastern: You can call in this phone number to listen LIVE on our live show Call 559-726-1300 Enter Access code: 244850# OR LISTEN LIVE CLICK HERE http://126.96.36.199/
Tonight Flash will share one of her special animal stories LUNA THE AMAZING AMAZON SHEPHERD from her forthcoming book Lifetime Companions Love Never Dies
ARCHIVE – Listen anytime after the show http://188.8.131.52/?page_id=
Nationally known Animal Communicator Flash Silvermoon shares her 30+ years of experiences doing healing work with the animals to enlighten you about their psyches.and how to truly deepen your relationship with your animal companions and all animals Call Flash Silvermoon for an appointment today. 352-475-2432 North Central Florida’s Favorite Pet Psychic, Psychic and Astrologer
Tonight Flash will share one of her special animal stories LUNA THE AMAZING AMAZON SHEPHERD . This story will be included in my book Lifetime Companions Love Never Dies which offers many tales about how she began working on her own animals and how that evolved to treating all kinds of other animals over the last 35 years.
The animals are my teachers and I have been blessed by many excellent teachers in my home and in my practice.I am sure that you will find that this information awakens your own skills as an Animal Communicator too.Reach Flash Silvermoon at http://www.flashsilvermoon.com
Flash always shares more about Holistic methods to heal your animal companions. Of course the first thing is Animal Communication which is the best aid in knowing and understanding what your animal companions want and need as well as how their past and even past lives can influence their healing.
Flash also creates her own Gem Elixirs and uses Green Hope Farms Flower Essences as well as homeopathy, essential oils and healing touch to round out her practice. See her website for further info on ordering or having her work on your animals .
Flash presents this wonderful show devoted to bringing people and animals into greater harmony. She shares her amazing experiences as an Animal Communicator and offers everything that you might want to know about the world of animals from care, healing, feeding and most importantly understanding. She often shares the mike with special guests who are managers of Sanctuaries, non traditional Vets, and all manner of people that work on the front line to love and help animals.
3.24.15 Dr. Mailou McIntyre, Spirituality & Reincarnation Interviewed by Lillian S. Cauldwell on Lillian’s Interviews
The Last Best Thing About Death … For Now!
Lillian Cauldwell – Chief Cook & Bottle Washer
Many people fail to plan for death. It’s not a very pleasant subject nor does it inspire intimacy among those in the family. However, like birth, death goes out alone. You may have loved ones surrounding you as you breathe your last. You might drop dead (God forbid) while grocery shopping or trying on a new pair of shoes. It might come unexpected or it might come from a health problem. But death comes for all of us.
Some people ask for cremation. Others ask for a casket. Some go out into the wilderness and die alone with nature, and allow time, wind, and the weather to take care of our physical bodies.
I told my son I wanted a New Orleans send out with a band and a professional group of mourners to wail behind them. Or I may opt for a Viking’s burial at sea with the boat set adrift with flames burning my body. I did specify he must hold up a mirror to my mouth to make sure I was dead before incineration.
Yeah, I want to make sure I’m dead before that match is lit and thrown on my tender and sensitive body.
No matter how you want to go out, make sure you have a Living Will so that when the time comes, and you’re in the hospital, you can have the final say that you’ll go out in dignity and respect. Make sure you leave a list of stuff that your left-behind family can follow so they can close out your life account.
One of these days, perhaps, not today, not even tomorrow, but sometime in the far distant future, you must plan for your death, the way you plan for life. Otherwise, no one will mourn your passing.
Grieving for a Friend’s Death Is Not Gender Equality….Along these same lines…….
What happens when a very close friend dies?
Contributor Blogger; Written & Submitted by Jeanne White, Host of Social Connections
I have a friend that had a dear friend die. Marie and Debbie spent a lot of time together. Went to beach at the cape just about every weekend. They went away on weekends. They did a lot together. I got to know Debbie and went to the movies or out to eat. They were just great friends and enjoyed doing a lot of fun things together. I felt very bad for Marie because I knew how much she was going to miss her friend.
We know more about our friends and they know a lot about you. In fact they know more about us than the family does. The family know what your favorite color is or what you like to eat. We spend a lot of time with our friends and tell more to each other than to the family. We share their grief, their joy and much more.
So when a friend pass on how does the family take that in to consideration for the grieving friend?
Well to get back to the beginning, I went with Marie to the wake and found that the family disregarded her. Some of the comments that a family member made was “I did not realize my sister had so many friends.” This person said more to my friend and I found to be nuts. When the friend passes all of a sudden the friends are pushed aside and now they are the grieving members. Give no thought to how the friends are dealing with their loss.
I am not sure if there is any protocol for the grieving friends but I think families should give some time for the friends to say goodbye to their friend. For god sack the friends spend more time with their friends than with the families. Perhaps there could be a few minutes after the wake for the friends to get together to say goodbye to their friend.
So I wonder if this has happened to Marie then there are many more that it happens to. I also wonder how the friend processed the grief of the passing of a friend. I am sure the friends of the friend that die get together to support each other. They may help each other with the loss. Remember these friends most likely speak to each other daily and then all of a sudden the phone calls stop.
Everyone grieves but I do not think the family understands how sad it is for the friends left behind.
Death is for the Living
Ever watch a child grieve for a dead pet? A goldfish? A dog? A cat? A mother — father — favorite aunt?
Children grieve differently from adults or do they? I often wonder when the parent wraps up that goldfish, digs a hole and places it gently in its grave whether it’s actually for the child or themselves? I’ve seen children prostrate in front of the freshly filled earth and dig deep in to the newly fallen dirt asking why this particular friend was taken from them so early? On the other hand, I’ve watched children dry-eye and silent as the final dirt is thrown over the grave site, and without a backward glance walk away and ask their respective parent when they can pick up their next pet, be it turtle, fish, or dog/cat.
Grief assails people differently. Yet society judges each individual’s grief on their own scale of how their children or grandchildren would’ve handled it. In this we do our children a disservice. Just like when I point out to parents that children grow at different rates, so do children grieve at different times. Some children cry openly. Others hide their tears. Some children throw a tantrum while others stoically close their bedroom or bathroom doors and grieve in silence running the faucet so that their parents and/or siblings won’t hear them in their pain.
So, the next time a cherished pet of your child, children, niece, nephew, grandchildren takes place and you’re there to see it happen, remember, that once upon a time you were a child and that you, too, grieved in your own private world — in your private hell — in your own closet where you could digest the fact that death comes to us all.
Death in the Afternoon–Morning–Evening
Procrastination at work. Please look a little deeper into my eyes. What do you see? A reflective mirror into my soul?
After thinking through several options to write about, I finally decided on another important one today. Death!
It’s all around else. From plants dying to animals becoming extinct to fossilized remains of past civilizations to your father or mother-in-law dying from old age, broken bones or from a chronic illness.
Our society doesn’t like to speak about death. Most people are terrified. Others put on a happy face and grimace through the after coverings of what our society does to either embrace someone’s death or run screaming from the room.
I remembered when my own parents died. Special flying privilege to get an abandoned seat on the airplane. My spouse sitting five seats ahead of me. My teen crammed into another section of the airplane. Flying from a cold climate to a hot climate and bucking up in between with lots of relatives telling me how sorry they were that my dad or mom had just died.
Did you know when your parents die in your home you call the police and notify them. Do you know where their wills, estate trusts, or other legal papers are? Did they leave cash, bonds, annuities, or stocks in the safe deposit box? It’s frozen by state law until the estate is settled.
Their debts? Yes, you’re responsible for paying for them. Mortgage? Insurance? Loans? Yep, yep, yep, it’s your responsibility to take care of all of that.
What did your parents leave you? Bad news. It’s taxed so find out by how much.
Not an executor of your parent’s will? Better find out who is? You can’t do anything until the Executor is found and then informed that they are reading the will.
Did I leave anything out? Probably. That’s why it’s important to discuss this stuff before your parents die.
Painful as it might be. It is more painful if you don’t discuss it ahead of time.
Tomorrow nursing home care versus your children taking care of you.
I have found myself procrastinating much more these days than previously. I’m not sure why and I wish that I could move myself forward. That’s not always the case.
Within my procrastination, I find myself distracted. It use to be information overload, but I can’t claim that as my defense anymore. Nope, I’ve run out of excuses, but in between not performing my work, I have found some useful tidbits that tide me over so I can do ‘a little’ work each and every day.
1. Find some old notes and review them. You’ll be amaze at what those notes have to say in the first place.
2. Review the papers that continually collect on your desk or table. There are gems of wisdom written in those papers; otherwise why did you save them in the first place?
3. Go through your Document files and start reading all those pdf’s that you originally downloaded for some nefarious purpose that even you can’t remember. You’ll be surprise at what you may find in those nuggets of joy.
4. Remember. Reflect. Ponder. Contemplate your navel if you must. However, within you there’s a greater power than just sitting on your duff looking for stuff to do when you have a whole week’s worth of duties screaming at you from the sidelines.
Modesty is the color of virtue. –Diogenes
A letter shows the man it is written to as well as the man it is written by–Chesterfield.
The riches we impart are the only wealth we shall always retain-M. Henry
The soul of man is infinite in what it covets.–Ben Johnson
No fool can be silent at a feast–Solon
The higher we rise, the more isolated we become; all elevations are cold. — De Bouffers
Why do strong arms fatigue themselves with silly dumb-bells? Trenching a vineyard is worthier exercise for men.
He that is good for making excuses, is seldom good for anything else. — Franklin
Man is an imitative creature, and whoever is foremost leads the herd.–Schiller
3.17.15 Good News for Modern Women!
WOMANSPIRIT RISING On Air Rituals and Celebrations w/Flash Silvermoon
WOMANSPIRIT RISING On Air Rituals and Celebrations w/Flash Silvermoon http://184.108.40.206/
Thursday March 19. 10-11pm est
Flash Silvermoon is hosting a new monthly Radio Show called Womanspirit Rising Flash will be joined by other Priestesses of different traditions and other sisters to offer LIVE ON AIR RITUALS for Healing the Planet
For our next program we will share SPRING EQUINOX-PREPARING FOR YOUR NEW YEAR You can call in this phone number to listen LIVE on our live show Call 559-726-1300 Enter Access code: 244850# Click here for the Live show http://220.127.116.11/
ARCHIVE – Listen anytime at least an hour after the show http://18.104.22.168/?page_id=
Flash Silvermoon Author of The Wise Woman’s Tarot, Psychic, Astrologer,Animal Communicator, Vibrational Healer, Musician Master Stone Healer and founder of the Wise Woman’s Festivalhttp://www.flashsilvermoon.com
JOINING THE CIRCLE THIS MONTH –
Aurora Whitebird ,Earthkeeper, Pipe Carrier and Priestess of Isis, Laura Djakpa – Ancestral Mystic and Medium
Please join us each month and share with your sisters and spiritual friends so that we can make larger and larger circles to encircle the Planet for support and healing
Very Very exciting to share Healing Energy Globally at this challenging time!
Our Circle will rotate others in and out as needed to offer up a Cauldron full of tasty Gumbo provided by Spirited Wise Women. We offer you a template, if you will, for your own circle magic should you be a novice and a space of safe Spiritual Sisterhood no matter what your skill level. All are welcome to listen and enjoy the fine energy that we will raise. So get your smudge bowls cooking, your candles lit and the libations of your choice chaliced and bring your open hearts and enthusiasm to enrich the magical cauldron we will make.Join us –
REWEAVE THE LUMINOUS CRYSTALLINE WEB THAT SURROUNDS THE PLANET INCLUDING ALL THE INTERLOCKING SACRED SITES METHODICALLY ALIGNED FOR THE PLANETARY HEALING AND ELEVATION NEEDED AT THIS SPECIAL TIME
Join us, there is power in numbers of like minded others. If you want to participate and not just listen, You will need a burning bowl or smudge bowl with sage/ cedar or your fave blend. a lighter,paper and pen and be sure to crack your window
Keep watching here for next months program Thursday APRIL 30
Blessings Flash Silvermoon Host, Circle Weaver and Priestess of the Rainbow Goddess Tradition
3.11.15 Testimonial from a former guest interviewee:
Dr. Marilou McIntyre
Thanks for your interview Just Listen by Mark G.. It gave me more depth in being able to help people recover from irrational behavior. Would love another interview with you myself when it is convenient for you. Dr. Marilou McIntyre
3.10.15 Dr. Mark Goulston, “Just Listen” interviewed by Lillian Cauldwell
In the book reiews in this issue, I referred to a meeting with Ike (President DD Eisenhower). As promised, here is the rest of the story.
I REMEMBER IKE
I know, the buttons people sported back in the 1950s said “I like Ike,” not “I remember Ike.” But for me, it was much more personal than just liking the man.
I guess my admiration for the man began when I was in the sixth grade. We had a mock election and there was only one vote for Adlai Stevenson (by Sammy Smith); all of the res of the class voted for Ike. He won by a landslide, but it was meaningless because none of us were old enough to have our votes count for anything.
It was years later, about 1963, when I spent a year in the Philadelphia area. I was a missionary candidate before going to Veneuzela. One Sunday four of us (girl) candidates were scheduled to help at a church service in Gettysburg. After the service we stopped and toured the battleground. After that, we were going back to the missionary headquarters. On our way we passed a farm with a big fence and gate around it which boasted a sign that said “Eisenhower farm.” That was after Ike had been president. The gal who was driving was a brave little bitty Canadian, the oldest of 12 children. She pulled the car over to the side of the road when an old pickup stopped just inside the fence and a man went over to unlock the gate.
“We are missionary candidates,” sour driver told the man.
One of us is going to Japan, one to Venezuela, one to Brazil and I’m going to South Africa. It would be so cool if we could tell people there that we had met a president. Do you think that would be possible?” We all laughed behind our hands as we waited in the car, until…
“Ike is in the pickup,” the man told her. “Why don’t you go ask him?” Which is exactly what she did. In just a few minutes, after relaying the same message to Ike himself, he told her to go on in and tell Amy that he had told us to come in.
That was the beginning of one of my most unforgettable afternoons. Mamie kindly invited us to have lunch with them, which was a typical “normal person’s” picnic in their back yard. After that we went in and I was invited to play their baby grand piano. We sang old familiar hymns, and Ike leaned over and whispered to me, “Can you play ‘Let Me Call You Sweetheart’?” I did, and he sang it to Mamie, holding her hands.
Ike and Mamie were both wonderfully warm to four young women. He laughed when he learned that our driver, who had first asked him if we could meet Ike, was a Canadian. I told him that I had voted him, and he was sure that I would have been way too young to vote for him either time he ran, so I fessed up to the fact that it was a mock election when I was in sixth grade.
The picture is one I snapped of him in the yard. He also gave each of us a picture, which he autographed—on the back of the picture. It was when he was still president and it was at his desk in the Oval Office. We asked him why he signed it on the back. He laughed as he explained. “Do you know what they had to pay that photographer? There is no way I’m going to ruin the picture by writing on it.” Yes, I still have that one too.
Astroflash Monthly Horoscope and Newsletter for March 2015
also includes Classes, Circle ,Open House and Radio Show News byFlash Silvermoon
Hope you enjoy this new format for Astroflash going direct to my website so that you can enjoy nicer print, illustrations and the same uplifting and probing information. Feel free to share as always.
PLEASE CLICK THE LINK BELOW AND ENJOY BLESSINGS FLASHSILVERMOON and please let me know how you like it please click here first for all the astrological info
By Flash Silvermoon
March rams its way into our lives with way too many planets in the sign of Aries for the good of peace loving folks. Just because Aries is ruled by the planet Mars, the God of War does not mean that all Aries are warlike and that the only thing to do with Mars energy is battle. That being said with a preponderance of Aries energy in Mars,South Node, Uranus and Venus, there is a tendency for even love to take on an aggressive tone. As I write this piece Venus is conjunct Uranus so we can expect the unexpected in our relationships or romance in general.
Yes Venus will be a very busy planet as she first trines Jupiter on the 4th and then conjoins Uranus and finally squares Pluto on the 5th. If your relationship is getting a good work out you can bet that Venus and her transits are at the bottom and in the middle of your experiences.
I cannot emphasize enough how important right thinking and right action are at this time. Be exceedingly careful what you wish for because as Uranus and Pluto reach their last exact square between the 16-19th of this month we will be shifting to a deeper connection with a 5th Dimensional Reality so that whatever we wish for even casually is more likely to manifest much more quickly than we have ever experienced before.
Writing Astroflash each month is like a Shamanic journey for me because i am such an empath that I wind up feeling the energies of the entire month all at once as I write and this month has my whole body vibrating pretty intensely. The last biggie before the Equinox is a Solar Eclipse with the New Moon in Pisces on the 20th at 29 degrees of Pisces, the last degree of the last sign of the zodiac. This will be a total Solar Eclipse and in some parts of Europe they will be plunged into total darkness for an hour or two. Eclipses definitely recalibrate electromagnetic fields and really effect all of us and especially our animals too. I was born on the Annular Solar Eclipse in Pisces and the concept of Eclipsing is not lost on me. Eclipses tend to cover inspiration. I can see great accomplishments in the arts and culture with this watery group as they heighten creativity however we may also have some troubles with more scams, deceit and misinformation as Neptune’s veil can be cast to enthrall as well as hide the truth.
Whenever we have a preponderance of an element like water, we can experience natural problems like floods,too much rain or snow etc.so keep your eyes on the weather and your ear to the ground. Our intentions are so important now as we set our course for the New Year as Spring offers us a spring board into new energies and mind sets.
All in all a wild and crazy month with times of bliss and introspection, exhilaration and inspiration and some real opportunities to help make the world a better place and cease the destructive leanings of the mainstream culture.If you have not discovered your Mission Plan yet this would be the month to uncover that treasure chest waiting for you to open its mysteries.
LET’S GET PERSONAL
TAURUS – Oh Venus in Aries take your time. All month you have been pushing me out of my comfort zone but guess what after the 18th, Venus is all mine. Venus is in Taurus opening the door for a much more sensuous life and am i ever ready for that! Luxurious baths with rose petals that lead to my bed and chocolate on everything Yes! That will be just fine and I can take my time and slowly enjoy every last bit of it til Venus moves into Gemini in a month or so. I can tolerate a little rushing around til then.
GEMINI – Geez when are we gonna lighten up already? OK I admit I kind of like the fire of Aries and a little excitement always goes well with my constitution. I have the gift of gab and sometimes a good conversation is as refreshing to me as a tall glass of water. I might even take one or both of the opposing sides of an argument to exercise all my options and experience more words and points of view. I rather be anything but bored and i simply do not have time for that in my life.
CANCER – These turbulent energies are working overtime on my nervous system particularly as it affects my digestive system. I really need my peaceful pool back where I can submerge myself in the healing waters and let all the tension of the world roll off of me. Aahhhhhhhhhh just thinking about that feels good. I must need to spend more time by and in the water as it simply soothes my soul. More music too that can transpose my daily routine into a magical mystery tour. Gee that sounds like a good song.
LEO – I have Jupiter in my sign and its a really long transit so I am just going to kick back and allow all the benefits of this time to surround me like an over stuffed cornucopia. What a lucky lion I am too. Hey all you cats want to come over and share the good times with me? I know that I sometimes take up too much space but hey there is a whole lot of me to love and half the fun of having stuff is sharing with the one that you love.
VIRGO – Wow this last Full Moon was potent. I must admit that it had my mind unhinged for a bit with so many thoughts flying through my brain. My intuition says let it be and I am wasting too much time entertaining the “what ifs?’ I will shake it soon because i must. These worries should be paying my rent they occupy so much space inside my head. I must get back to my meditation tools which serve me so well and liberate me from so much wasted worry. Out out damn thoughts.
LIBRA – All this Aries energy flies in the face of my Libran sensibilities. I like to have balance and fairness in my life and Mars,Venus and Uranus all in Aries just doesn’t play fair. Might isn’t right and the most powerful shouldn’t always win. At least that’s how i see things and maybe sometimes it’s best to mediate instead of agitate. I know some could call me a fence sitter at times but I think that we should find ways for both sides to win and walk away feeling heard.It doesn’t matter what I think though because the laws of karma tend to make things even out.
SCORPIO – Nothing in my sign right now and that is just fine with me. Actually gives me some freedom so I can keep to myself a bit and slip into the deep dark waters that I love so much. Venus is in my opposite sign of Taurus which has a certain pull. Venus in Taurus is really a nice position and i would love to partake in a little bit or even a lot of romance and sensuality. I am a Scorpio ya know and we may kiss but we are not likely to tell. It’s just how we are and if you are into something sketchy and superficial find another sign ’cause we go deep.
SAGITTARIUS – I have sincerely been learning how to have better boundaries and to contract my energies around the things that I must do. My expansive Sagittarian spirit is balking a bit at this limitation but I can see how it is the best for now and that I will be creating a better life for myself. I must admit that being a fire sign, I am a bigger fan of immediate gratification but I can roll with this for awhile til Saturn’s grip let’s up a little bit.
CAPRICORN – My life has been so shaken and stirred and transformed over these last few years that I hardly recognize my former self. I mean I still am a hard worker that rises to each challenge that life puts in front of me but I am easier with me and don’t feel like I have to pick up every challenge that crosses my path. Very liberating to feel like somethings are just not my battle. Makes me think of the Serenity Prayer….and the Wisdom to Know the Difference. Good to feel the maturation process and not just aging.
AQUARIUS – It’s kind of nice seeing how many people are standing up against the cruelty of the establishment these days. I often have felt like a lone voice in the wilderness standing up for what is right. Thanks to Social Media those of us of a like mind and spirit can join together so easily all around the world. After all “We are the World, We are the Children…..” I want to spend my life joining with others to make the world a better place.
PISCES – This is a very Piscean month and I can feel how my intuitive energies and my sensitivities are on one high beam. The Veil is so thin that I feel like I can walk in and out and through it at will depending on what is needed. I like the fluidity of this way of being and sometimes it all seems to just flow together with out definition. One day can run into another and somehow almost mystically, everything gets done. A deep knowing surrounds me and I find myself grounded in my understanding of cycles and the transformative presence of Spirit.
Janet Elaine Smith
TIRED OF HANGING WITH THE TURKEYS? Oh, no, there is nothing flattering when somebody calls you a”a turkey.” Sure, they are popular in November, but nobody wants to end up as the main course. Why do turkeys get such a bum wrap? For starters, even though they are a bird, they can’t even fly. They aren’t particularly attractive with that red “dooflap” hanging down by their neciks. The last time I heard about anybody doing something to promote the turkey as a great thing, other than on the platter on your Thanksgiving table, was when Thomas Jefferson tried to get the U.S. government to name the turkey the national bird, instead of the lofty eagle. It was an idea that was soon squelched. (By the way, I wasn’t around when that happened; I just read about it centuries later.) So let’s move on to that lofty eagle. Hey are our national bird, and thus they are a protected apecies. They soar overhead so regally one stares in awe. But once in a while, even an eagle has its limitations. Recently, on Good Morning America, they showed a video of an eaglet who had not yet learned to fly. Not to be outdone, the little fellow, undaunted, hopped on the back of a woodpecker and together they went sailing through the skies. As entrepreneurs, indies, etc., we need to learn a lesson from that brave little eaglet. One can only imagine that the eaglet was probably a bit apprehensive, i.e. scared, as they took off. Any time anyone does something new, there is that “what if” moment. But, the eaglet did not get off. It just dug its talons in deeper. We need to do the same thing. If you see something that somebody else is doing and you wonder if you could do it too, take that plunge, or hit the skies, and try it, even if you have to ride on somebody else’s back (their success) to make it happen. Make this your day to soar with the eagles instead of strutting with the turkeys. Before long, you will be able to soar all by yourself, and if somebody decides to hop on your back and sail with you, jus smile and say, “I knew I could…” Remember that little engine that could? It did! So can you! PWR Network LLC is here to help you make it happen, whether it is publishing your book (through newly formed Senior Moments Publishing) or exposure for already existing products (through the radio station), marketing help, or anything else. PWRN’s purpose is to help you make it happen.
Digital Mayhem with Lillian S. Cauldwell
3.04.15 Travis Lloyd, Overcoming Emotional Trauma Interviewed by Lillian S. Cauldwell
Joe Crawford, Canadian Comedian Interviewed by Lillian S. Cauldwell
Rick Rubin, Political Huffington Post Interviewed by Lillian S. Cauldwell