The American people usually associate waterboarding with terrorists. On a humorous note… .

Not so!

I was waterboarded at the dentist this week. What was my crime? I lost a piece of laminated tooth. The remaining part of the tooth had to electrically drilled to look like the other half that broke off.

Sure, they gave me sun glasses to protect my eyes from the splashing.

It wasn’t the water splashing in my eyes.

It was the water shooting up my nose, choking on the tubing in my throat supposedly to rid my mouth of the water used for cooling down the drill.

That’s their story and they’re sticking to it.

I’ve got my own story. That water that so merrily splash in my mouth, sloshing underneath my tongue also went up my nose effectively making me gag. Did I ask them to stop? I did not. I’m stronger than that. I was looking at the bigger picture. How much longer did I need to endure before breaking down entirely and telling them my ghastly sugar habits involving sugar free chocolate and sweetened frozen yogurt.

As ghastly as those hidden offenses may not seem to you, I’m sure I would’ve gotten 10 to 30 years if the appropriate officers were involved.

However, that’s not what is important. The important thing is my dentist knowingly had me waterboarded knowing that it was sheer torture for me to stay that way for 15 minutes without taking a break. The dentist even asked me from time to time if I was all right?

All right? Sure, you sit there silently with your body and head tilted back, mouth wide opened for 30 minutes and see how well you do handling all that hot drilling and cold water oozing up your nostrils choking and snuffing out your life. And then, we’ll talk!!

As for other forms of torture that the medical establishment puts you through, we’ve got the colon exam where you get to drink 1 gallon of delicious oil drink that helps you move your inner wastes faster than a speeding bullet.

I’ve known grown adults who’ve refused to participate in that exam because of the sheer volume of waste one is expected to drink before taking that exam.

How many doctors willingly do that pre-drinking? Don’t be shy. There must be at least one of you. Hmm, the jury is still out.

So you see folks, there are many different ways of waterboarding your opponent into drinking a quart of water, a gallon of water, and having water go up your nose to take those medical exams and/or fixtures to your teeth.

Remember, only you can prevent this kind of torture.

About Lillian Cauldwell

Own and operate an Internet Talk Radio Network for 10 years, 2005 to Present Published Author of Non-Fiction Book, 1996, "Teenagers! A Bewildered Parent's Guide. Published Author of several fiction books, 2006 "Sacred Honor" and 20010 "The Anna Mae Mysteries: The Golden Treasure." Playwright of Theater of the Absurd and Black Comedies. Screenwriter, Black Comedies