What to do when your offer of help is rejected.
Picture this, someone you know or love is having one of those days, a difficult situation, a bad time with a co-buddy or under-boss, or God forbid, behavioral problems with their kids or spouse. As a witness to the above, you want to solve their troubled waters. You offer your help. Instead of them welcoming your ideas with opened arms, they reject you instantly.
I know how you feel. We all have been there. The nobility in us rises out of us before we think through the consequences of our acts. So, let’s go over them together and figure out a way to avoid these ugly scenes.
- Humiliation. It works for all types of people and at all times. You offer is rejected because: this person doesn’t want your help, they don’t need your advice because they already know the difference between what is right and what is wrong.
- Blabber Mouth. You think you know it all. You’ve got time, age, and experience on your side. Listen to me because only I know the right way to solve this particular problem.
- Emotionally Speaking. Yup, we know that button trap. We get caught up in someone else’s problems, and our triggers are clicked and away we go! It doesn’t work out so well, does it.
- The Know-it-all. Yes, we all know it. When my 9 year old granddaughter tells me, “Granma, I already know it,” you wonder why she’s still doing it the wrong way. If she already knows it, someone, other than I, have already pointed out the wickedness or badness of her ways.
- Shut Up! and other crude, rude, and socially unacceptable words. Yup, we’ve all been slapped with that before by our co-workers, bosses, kids, spouses, relatives, that particular list is endless. You mean well when offering your help, but hey, they don’t want it. Maybe, it’s because you’ll embarrass them. As if they’re not already embarrassed inside of themselves.
- Embarrassment. The number 2 emotional response on this otherwise too long a list. When help is rejected, there are reasons why as already explained. I believe though it’s acute embarrassment on the part of the person who just rejected your help. They’re embarrassed that they allowed the situation to happen and develop in the first place, and now all they want to do is put it aside and away so none can see their shame in refusing your help.
- Shame. That’s the guilty button everyone uses and tries to make it work for whatever particular cause or situation out there.
- There you have it. All the ugly parts of why your help is rejected. Most of the time, it will be accepted with a smile, a handshake, or a grateful smile on the participant involved with that problem.
- However, don’t count on it. Human nature being what it is. As one commercial from long ago once stated. “MOTHER! I’d rather do it myself!!”
- HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
- MERRY CHRISTMAS
- Until next week!